Conversation topics to avoid on family trips
The goal is to avoid these talking points at all costs and thus, save the little-so-dignity you might have among your family members and relatives.
STUDIES (THE PRE-UNIVERSITY VERSION)
As a school or college student, when the topic of studies is raised by your family members or relatives, they will surely find a way to make you feel uncomfortable about it. If your studies are going well, they will point out how they have "really high expectations" from you in the future as if you becoming successful will somehow ensure a happily ever after for them as well. On the other hand, if your results aren't as lit as your memes (which by the way, is completely fine), they will go on to lecture you about the harsh reality of life and how they never expected such results from you. Cue "tumi kintu arektu cheshta korlei parta" here.
STUDIES (THE UNIVERSITY VERSION)
Private university students will get a bigger share of the spotlight in this case. No matter what year you're in or what your major is, in your relatives' eyes, it's just useless. If this conversation does take place, be prepared to tell them that your plans are focused on the public service examinations. Spoiler alert: they DO NOT want to hear you say "I am not interested in a government job."
YOUR SUCCESSFUL COUSINS
Making comparisons between people is what family members do best. Especially when it comes to situations where your achievements are overshadowed by those of your siblings or cousins. If the topic of successful apu-bhaiya is brought up anytime during the trip, they will end up talking about that one cousin whom you've never met and never will and then they will go on to tell you tales of their successful conquests. There is no easy way to divert the attention to a less successful cousin or to a topic that will save you from the embarrassment. So if you can't avoid it, just tolerate it or try to fall asleep.
MARRIAGE
By the time you have reached the legal age for marriage, your family members will have already decided on your future in-laws. In fact, they might even have planned out your wedding to your cousin or to some other "bideshi public" in their heads just to see how it works out (for their interest that is). Either way, avoid triggering them if they bring up this topic. Trigger phrases include but are not limited to "I don't want to get married", "I have someone in mind" and "Arre Abbu, YOLO".
HEALTH
They will tell you that you've gained a bit of weight, right after you've downed a kilogram of polao. In such cases, take your plate elsewhere.
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