Why Opposites Attract in Friendships Too

Opposites attract in friendships too, resulting often in unbreakable, decades-lasting bonds. Ever wondered why? This week, my clearly-not-a-psychology-student self will attempt to explain how this (very likely) works.

Let us start with a relatively general belief I personally do not completely agree with: the requirement of common interests for the formation of a strong friendship. While it may be easier to initiate a conversation with a person if you have a common interest, if both you and your friend want exactly the same things in life, it may potentially result in conflicts if you are both competitive. Picture adults fighting like kids would over a toy, but with more unnecessary drama and plot-twists. Also, long-term friendships often teach us how to grow as people by observing and learning from each other's beneficial qualities. But if both friends are bringing the exact same qualities to the table, individual growth for each person may slow down. It could feel similar to looking into a mirror and watching yourself make the same mistakes on repeat.

Therefore, certain differences in personality can most definitely be appreciated and even contribute to strong friendships. Don't get me wrong, it is lovely to be able to relate to a friend and to have your thoughts and opinions shared. I firmly believe that similarities do contribute to the development of strong friendships – just not necessarily in the way you may think.

You see, similarities are not limited to simply wanting the same things, but also involve sharing a deep understanding of how to achieve things, whether the goals are similar or not. In other words, I believe having similar basic morals play a large role in the development of strong friendships. Individuals with polar opposite personalities can form such strong friendships, as long as they share basic general morals.

For example, an animal lover can absolutely have a best friend scared to death of animals, on the grounds that fear is understandable and the best friend would never harm the animals out of fear. A metal music fan can have a best friend who does not listen to music of any genre, because they both respect each other's music preferences. There is a general understanding of why a particular action is being done, and as long as the reasoning is respected, there is no reason for a strong friendship to not develop.

Differing traits can be admirable – your very sociable friend may admire you for your ability to enjoy your own company. Differing traits can also prove to be useful. If you and your friend ever get gifted assorted chocolate boxes, you'll have higher chances of finishing them all without bickering, all thanks to your different tastes.

In our hunt to find friends who are our complete equals, we may find best friends with personalities completely different from ours. Seemingly unpleasant dissimilarity may therefore result in unlikely friendship.

Bushra Zaman likes books, art, and only being contacted by email. Contact her at bushrazaman31@yahoo.com