Dumb as a plant: Actor arrested for being too stupid to throw away drugs

This is a potted plant. It looks good, but it is dumb and not known for thinking on its feet. Photo: Star

Mona Fairy, a popular actor in Chapasthan, has been arrested because she was too stupid to throw away some drugs she kept at her house while police were breaking down her door.  

Two cases were filed against her – one for possessing the narcotics, but since it was an open and shut case and therefore would not allow law enforcers to interrogate her for long, another case was filed under the new Stupidity Act.

"What we have seen is very concerning," said one of the police officials who conducted the raid at Fairy's house. "The house was full of drugs – ice, LSD, potted plants, planted pot, snow, wind, fire, earth. You name it, she had it.

"What was puzzling, however, was that she knew we were coming around half an hour before we actually entered the house. Instead of dumping the drugs down the toilet or out the window, she spent all that time panicking on the phone with her friends.

"That is the kind of stupidity that doing drugs causes."

Most of the police's concern has surrounded the upper-middle class children and powerful businessmen Fairy infected with her stupidity. That is why, the police official said, they have kept Fairy in remand -- to know the extent of her stupidity and the names of others like her who were bringing down the national IQ.

"Those kids are innocent. They just went to her parties not knowing they would be transformed into idiots. The same for the businessmen. They became so stupid over the course of one or two parties that they did things that exposed them to blackmail -- it's a national disgrace."

Over the course of their interrogation of Fairy, police have learned that she even went on vacation to export her stupidity. After that, government officials said plans were under way to bar stupid people from going abroad.

The police official said one of their own were infected with her stupidity, but that was dealt with swiftly.

"Of course, police are not immune. The stupidity came into our ranks and we even arrested an influential person who was tricked into assaulting Fairy at the Chapa Yacht Club. Luckily for us, we came to our senses and found the drugs in her flat – it's a triumph for law enforcement."

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