The 5 Stages of Shopper’s Guilt

You receive a call that your product is arriving for delivery. You, however, have no recollection of ordering it. You are about to begin your journey across the five stages of shopper's guilt.

Confusion

You make a genuine effort to identify the store that is about to deliver the parcel to you. You check to see if you liked their page on Facebook. You look for traces online such as messages you may have sent to the store stating that you want to order the product, or even unknown phone numbers on your call list that match the one listed on their social media pages. You finally find a message where you are placing the order, but notice that it does not match your usual typing style, which brings us to the next stage-

Denial

As a wise man from The Office once said, "Identity theft is not a joke." To assume that someone may have ordered through your device without asking is absolutely valid, but the question is who, and why? Was it your baby niece using autocorrect to configure a sentence?  It does sound difficult for an infant to do so, but surely more reasonable than you having ordered it yourself. 

You would have remembered if you ordered something, but then you realise you have been stressed and forgetful recently, so much so that you may actually have forgotten about ordering a product. This brings us to stage three-

Acceptance

At this point, your memory of shopping is finally restored. But it is okay. Everyone has a way to destress and yours is to shop for nice things. The washi tape or notebook you saw only said they only had one or two pieces left; what if someone had gotten to it before you had? As for the notebook, you needed one anyway, so buying the pretty leather-backed one was reasonable. The t-shirt you bought was a reasonable purchase- you're having to wash your clothes each time you have to go out during the pandemic so it is definitely a good investment. 

As for the pyjamas, who doesn't love a good set of PJs? After having listed down the things you bought, you then begin to calculate your due bills.

Repentance

The positive side of this is that your due bills fall exactly within the limit of your monthly income. The negative side is that you just spent your entire monthly salary on stress shopping. You regret buying the expensive notebook and tell yourself next time you'll just look for more affordable ones instead. 

As for the PJs, instead of buying a full set, you tell yourself you'll buy affordable separates, for silk can be very difficult to sleep in during the summer anyway. You look at your bills with your hand on your forehead and tell yourself you will never spend unnecessarily again, and will always calculate your dues in your head before ordering, to see if you can really afford to splurge.

Repetition

But then before you know it, you're looking at unnecessary cute plushies for your cute nephew. Aren't kids into sharks nowadays? This is basically a good deed so it is alright.

You're helping out the economy anyway.

Bushra Zaman likes books, art, and only being contacted by email. Find her at bushrazaman31@yahoo.com