Kamla Bhasin, a celebrated feminist, activist and social scientist, was born in 1946, in a village at Punjab in what is now Pakistan. She worked for the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) from 1976 till she retired in 2002. Since the 70s, she had been an important voice not only for the women's movement in India, but other South Asian countries such as Bangladesh and Nepal as well. She founded the feminist network Sangat in 2002. Her tools to raise awareness against patriarchy and violence against women, including rape and dowry death, often involved interactive methods such as plays, story-telling, music and art. According to the Indian Express, at Kamla Bhasin's funeral on September 25, everyone stood silently as her sister performed the last rites. Afterwards, a young woman began a "conversation" with her, addressing her as if she were alive. Words turned into a song, and soon the whole gathering of feminist activists—people from diverse backgrounds and those whose lives Kamla had touched—began singing along. Even in death, she showed us how to unite.

Kamla was actively involved in JAGORI, a women's training and resource centre in New Delhi, India, as well as One Billion Rising, the movement started by American playwright-activist Eve Ensler to end sexual violence against women, which spread out across the world—including Bangladesh. She touched the lives of thousands of women through her trainings and workshops on understanding patriarchy and feminism. A few basic concepts that she taught—which show her deep understanding of the feminist movement, but also cover issues affecting the world on a larger scale—are as follows:

Big words, but what do they really mean?

We need to ask about the basic definitions of patriarchy, masculinity, gender, and feminism. These words are often misunderstood—oftentimes, even by the most privileged sections of our society. One of the terms that Kamla stated was toxic masculinity, and she used to speak about how it affects not just women, but men as well. In Bangladesh, men are taught to be tough and feel superior; they are expected to have all the answers, to be solution-driven, to earn more, to provide more. These predestined roles are burdens on men. As products of this toxic culture, most men, as heads of their households, do not allow their wives or daughters to work outside, which only adds to their burden.

It is the same with the word "gender"; gender roles are defined by society. As such, if men and women in our society could understand that, other than giving birth and breast-feeding their children, men could be equal participants in child-rearing, then life would be much easier for both parents. It is society that teaches men that childcare is a woman's job, and to this day it is the norm for women to take the sole responsibility of taking care of the children and elderly members in their families. This doubles the pressure on women who work: they have to meet their responsibilities at their workplaces, and then fulfil their role of caregiver at home as well—something that remains unappreciated in most cases. If the concept of equal participation is introduced as part of education at schools, boys and girls will learn that household work and care-giving can be done by both.

We have normalised injustice

Kamla highlighted that injustice in society had grown so much because we tolerated it. There are plenty of examples around us: let's take the ongoing vaccine shortages in less developed countries like Bangladesh, for instance, where there are people who haven't been able to get even the first dose of Covid-19 vaccine, whereas in the developed nations, a variety of vaccine choices are available, and they have stocked up the surplus. The Covid-19 crisis has shown how the informal economy workers have fallen further into poverty with reduced wages, unemployment, and the lack of wider social protection from the government. We have become used to a world that is unjust based on gender, race, class, and creed. In order to tackle this, we first need to acknowledge this flaw, and work towards making our country a just place by challenging the unjust system.

Feminism is about equal rights, not taking men's rights away

Feminism is a belief system that says women and men have equal rights. Giving equal rights to women as men doesn't mean that men lose their existing rights. Both men and women can be feminists, just as both men and women can be patriarchal. Feminism, in Kamla's opinion, has to be a powerful yet patient movement, and cannot be won without continuous dialogue. Patriarchy is so ingrained in us that we often don't realise when we practise it—how it invades our thoughts and actions. However, feminist movements evolve with time. Fifty years ago, the fight to ensure that girls go to school was  a feminist movement; today, demanding that women be able to be in the streets without the fear of sexual harassment is a timely feminist movement. It also varies from place to place, from class to class. Looking at the world through a woman's eyes is essential, because till now the world has been seen and explained from men's perspectives, and that only reveals half of reality.

Personally, I came to know Kamla Di through a workshop. Brac once organised a training workshop with her, and I had the good fortune to be a part of it. It was in early 2020. We were travelling together towards Rajendrapur one evening, but due to heavy traffic, we were stuck on the road for almost six hours. This is when I got to know Kamla Di—the person behind the feminist trailblazer that she was regarded as. Apart from her lucid style of communicating her thoughts and ideologies, she was witty, warm, and very loving. There were three of us in our car, so she asked us to sing while we waited in traffic. She sang her songs of freedom and movement. Her songs were about the struggles of women and the hope for a new world, which I found quite captivating. At the end of the training, she took a selfie with each of us. I still remember her powerful presence and her warm hug—the memories of which I will always carry with me.

Tasmiah T Rahman is head of Brac's Skills Development Programme.