How Not to React to Compliments

Imagine you're sitting in a cafeteria, minding your own business, and suddenly a friend shows up who you haven't seen in ages. They greet you, even hug you, and proceed to compliment you.

What do you do then?

As someone who has yet to master the art of receiving compliments, I'm afraid the only way I can help you is by telling you exactly what not to do.

Get aggressive? No.

The last thing you want to do is get defensive and deny that the compliment is true. You may be your own worst critic, but hey, even if that is the case, you do not have to go out of your way to prove your flaws to a stranger.

When someone says, "You look so pretty!" you shouldn't reply with, "It's because the colour of the dress is so nice." You might be challenging them to take on your low self-esteem and argue against the compliment. Winning this spat might technically sound like a response to a compliment, but no. What exactly are you trying to win here?

Run away? Don't.

This is basically the "flight" mode of the fight or flight response that gets triggered in situations of survival -- and properly reacting to a compliment requires survival of the fittest.

Nodding and running away after being complimented might sound reasonable because you are technically sparing the person from having to listen to you mumble awkward responses. In reality, however, it only makes you seem crazy, rude, or worse, both.

Also, this technique cannot be applied everywhere. You could be complimented in a crowded area, thus preventing you from running away. What then?

Pretend not to hear the compliment? Wow.

You know the trick where you make a person repeat the same things over and over until they're fed up and quit talking?

For example, before when I was complimented, I would zone out while trying to think of a response. Now, I just ask them to repeat what they said while explaining that I did not hear them, over and over again. Eventually, they think I'm crazy and cease to compliment me again for a while, saving the both of us some serious awkwardness.

It is pretty efficient in terms of saving time trying to figure out a response to the compliment too.

Make random noises? Really?

Laughing or giggling continuously at how ridiculous the compliment sounds to you is not a very logical response mostly because others may view you as maniacal. Same goes for choking on your own breath out of shock of hearing nice things said about you, or pretending to have the hiccups so you don't have to respond.

We get it. You just want to escape, not sound confused or silly, even though it may sound like doing so will keep the compliments from coming.

Bushra Zaman likes books, art, and only being contacted by email. Find her at bushrazaman31@yahoo.com