I like to think of the quintessential classroom as a minefield. You don't want the wrong neighbour any more than you want to step on a non-metaphorical mine. So I took some time and categorised these 'people', each with identifiable traits and exploitable weaknesses. Read on and learn all about the mysterious world of your classroom (switch the genders if applicable).

The guy who understands nothing
He thinks you are the godsend answer to all of his questions and he isn't about to waste this blessing. He will ask you to explain intermediate level concepts like cross-elasticity and to assist him in reading words with more than four syllables. People with thought-provoking questions do not fall into this category, they are desirable neighbours.
Looks like: An idiot.
Weakness: Books, hit them with books to chase them away.

The pretty girl giving you the cold shoulder
You've tried every possible conversation starter with her in your head and none of them seem right. But that's not because you're a social disaster and the only 'real women' you've talked to are from patched Japanese dating simulations. “Pen, huh? I use pens too.” “Hey, you come here often? To class I mean.”
Looks like: Every other pretty girl who has ignored you, or maybe they are all the same person.
Weakness: Being called fat. Yeah, she probably wouldn't like that.
The weird loner guy
For some reason, possibly his horoscope, he thinks you're his best friend. A variant of this species talks to himself, thinking he's making witty comments. Schizophrenia is no laughing matter.
Looks like: Has no nice clothes.
Weakness: Being reminded of his beta status.

Power Rangers
Every time trouble arises, these guys will jump about striking various poses (and possibly your face) before running off and leaving your notes in a cluttered mess on the floor. They won't even apologise because it's for the 'greater good'. They also make terrible conversationalists as they refuse to talk about what they do in their free time. They're always asking you what your favourite colour is and your stance on giant monsters.
Looks like: Carries plastic weapons. Has shiny, homemade, unicoloured costume worn boldly with matching bike helmet. Size apparent and unimpressive.
Weakness: Gojira. Obscure colours like beige and olive.

The Copiers
These come in two types, one worse than the other. The first strain of this disease doesn't do her homework and copies everything off you. While copying, she is annoying and critical of your handwriting. Someone obviously doesn't know about beggars and gift horses.
The next specimen's time is too valuable to invest in his future, meaning he doesn't study. He's heard good things about you so he asks that you help him in exams. May result in you being unable to answer some questions.
Looks like: Unpleasant.
Weakness: Being poked with sticks.

Personal space invader
This category consists of people who touch you, people you lean in way too close to talk to you, and my arch-nemesis: the jerkbag who keeps his elbow on my desk. What do I look like, Polish? I will not stand for this! Get your Nazi elbow off my desk before I gently press against it indicating your breach of personal space. And while you're at it, shave your moustache too, Chaplin wannabe!
Looks like: Has a soul-patch but is actually misplaced Führer-stache.
Weakness: Sharp, pointed objects like party hats.

Wiseass
Has something to say on everything. This isn't the guy who asks questions in class but the one who interrupts class. He may be funny but if you sit next to him, you will look like a collaborator. Personally, I prefer to stay in the teacher's good graces.
Looks like: Political.
Weakness: Illuminati.
Armed with this knowledge, I hope you have a good time in class from now on. But remember, just because you can poke people with sticks doesn't mean you should.