Pandemic-era marriages invalid if reception not held by Feb ’22

The marriage certificates of those who tied the knot in the past two years will not be valid unless the couples hold a reception by February 28, 2022, the Lok Ki Bolbe division of the Chapasthan government said in a press release.  

Couples who thought they had averted major wedding expenses by arranging socially-distanced weddings amid the Covid-22 pandemic, and have settled into their married lives, will now have to go back to square one and throw a grand reception to mark their union.

"Pandemic marriages are all good and well, but there is a way that things have been done in this country for decades. If two people get married, the wider society will have to know and be invited to witness the event. Otherwise, the marriage is invalid… it is scandalous. What will people say?" asked the press release from the Lok Ki Bolbe division, the members of which have an owning interest in at least one community centre or wedding venue.

This move has impacted newlyweds and recentlyweds in different ways. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.

"Of course we need a reception," said Rabeya Hasan, who married Akbar Hasan soon after the first case of Covid-22 was confirmed in the country. "I had a wedding venue booked for December 2022. That way, my wedding would have been spread across nearly three years -- and there would be enough time to go to Kolkata for the clothes, Dubai for the gold.

"But now, because of the new rule, I've had to buy jewellery in a hurry and purchased gold worth just Tk 10 lakh!" Rabeya said, barely able to hold back her tears, but having to anyway as she did not want to ruin her La Praire eyeliner.

Another couple were distressed by the situation for altogether different reasons.

"Our parents have been pressuring us to hold a reception after the positivity rate declined," said Nishat Tahsin, who married Abid Ahmed in July 2020. Both Nishat and Abid were happy to have an inexpensive wedding and relieved that they did not have to put up a show and interact with so many people, most of whom they did not like.

They even took advantage of social distancing norms and had a baby as soon as possible.

"We thought we wouldn't have to meet many people even after the birth. We had even talked our families out of the reception idea, saying we need to save for the baby. All that's out the window now, because we have to get married in the next two months, or have our union cancelled. Then we will have to face the wrath of the 'Kemon Dekhay' division for having a child out of wedlock," Nishat said.

"So, instead of saving, we now have to splurge on gym memberships because both of us have to get in shape immediately for the wedding pictures. My idiot husband's idea of sympathy weight gain to make me feel better does not sound very smart now!"

The new rule however delighted one recently married man, who did not even want his fake name on record because he says he uses many names in his day-to-day life.

"We got married very fast, because we were caught up in the empty streets during the early days of the pandemic and the clear skies. I haven't told my wife about the deadline. In fact, I think we should take that break from social media that we have been talking about."

Email your satire pieces, cartoons, comic strips or whatever tickles your funny bone to starsatireday@gmail.com and you too may have something to show for wasting your time