A guide to making the next viral video essay

Anyone who is familiar with YouTube has definitely been recommended at least one video essay on a topic no one probably cares about. There is even a chance that you have watched a few of these videos yourself. But have you ever wondered what it would be like to make a video essay yourself with the least amount of effort?

The first step is to choose a topic. To make sure your video becomes the next big thing flooding everyone's recommendations, try to pick the most convoluted topic that comes to your mind. It does not need to make much sense to your viewers or even to yourself. As long as it sounds unusual enough for people to click on it, you are good to go. Coming up with an interesting idea can be hard, so you can choose from either a controversial political opinion, the overcomplication of a mundane topic, or the hidden meaning behind a children's television show no one has thought of in ten years.

Second, sit down to write your script. Start by jotting down as many points as you can think of and then stretch it even further. One of the biggest selling points of video essays is their overextended length, so you need to ensure that it goes on for at least an hour. The longer the video, the better, because let's face it, there is a very good chance that whoever clicked on it will lose interest within the first five minutes and just let it run as background noise. Jampack your script with fancy words to trick your audience into thinking that you are smart so that they will hopefully trust you to know what you are talking about. If you do this right, you might get plenty of comments letting you know how much they appreciate your video for helping them be productive because your nonsensical droning somehow managed to help them concentrate.

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Video Essay channels on YouTube

Next is filming and editing the video. You need to be prepared for the off chance that someone does actually watch it beyond the first five minutes. The best way to structure your content is by recording a voiceover and letting it play over random stock images and videos that vaguely relate to what you are discussing. Just in case you do have the patience and energy to film yourself, the best place you can pick is your room as the background. Not only will this intrigue your viewers into trying to sneak a peak at your belongings, a clean room will lull the audience into thinking you have your life together. Other choices can include a green screen so you can overlay whatever background you want on top, or just pick the cleanest wall you can find. For finishing touches, throw in some random meme references and long-forgotten video clips at random intervals to keep it fresh for anyone who watches the whole thing.

After you upload your video, wait for the response. If the view count does not meet your expectations, do not despair. Instead, just repeat the same steps as much as you can, and maybe one of these days people will appreciate your hyper-specific rant session.

Namreen is sick and tired. Send a reminder that life goes on at: namreen.shaiyaz@gmail.com