How growing up in gender-biased households affects sibling relationships

The oddest common scenario in even the most progressive and learned families is the "Take your little brother with you" phenomenon.

It is when parents make their pre-teen sons, who are not logically capable of protecting a person double their age from anything, accompany their fairly-mature daughter everywhere they go, be it to the grocery store or to the coaching centre, for said daughter's "safety".

Despite how we choose to judge this particular occurrence, this is just one of many ridiculous circumstances faced by girls growing up with male siblings in a blatantly gender-biased household.

While the most apparent outcome of these treatments is the prolonged normalisation of such sexist practices, the one thing we seldom give thought to is how horribly this affects sibling relationships, especially when the brother themselves choose to stay oblivious.

Comparatively earlier curfews, evidently stricter restrictions in regards to going out, or being without adult supervision are some of the most recurrent biases most parents impose on their teenage daughters while being either notably lenient, or absolutely nonchalant, in regards to their sons, not realising that the latter is exactly what breeds the perfect excuse for justifying the former.

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Respect Begins at Home

In countless cases, the brother never considers the wrongness of, or questions the discrimination despite being adults, and makes matters worse by actively siding with their parents who in turn fuel their superiority and saviour complex. In the midst of it all, it is the daughters who suffer the resulting lack of bare minimum freedom as an individual.

Matters become complicated if the brother happens to be a much younger sibling. It is difficult to make a young one unlearn parental conditioning. Lashing out on them is certainly no way to make them understand such a multifaceted issue.

However, when the brothers are older than or of the same age, such lack of empathy and action become very difficult to excuse, especially when they assign themselves an authoritative role over their sister by weaponizing the misogyny.

Naturally, after tolerance comes resentment, rage, and grudge. While the expression maybe different depending on the age gap, it can be equally scarring for both parties involved.

The worst part is that even when your brothers are supportive and speak up against the unfairness, their voices are usually the ones being heard, whereas yours have been ignored for ages. This realisation only cements the fact that they are still considered eligible to make decisions for you. This makes the resentment last just a bit more.

So, while the luckier ones of us do receive unconditional support from our brothers, it is important to not lose sight of the actual problem as we actively tackle it to the end.

Hamama's problems smell like daruchini because she's dweep into them 24/7. Send help at fatin.hamama003@gmail.com