Engineering students demand jobs based on memorising solution manuals

An increasing rate of unemployment resulted in growing vexation among the youth regarding underpayment in job sectors. Consequently, engineering students across the country now demand jobs that will pay them for memorising solution manuals and dumping them on exam scripts.

The art of ingesting and dumping irrelevant information has been mastered by Bangladeshi students over the years irrespective of their educational cores. Engineering graduates across the country claim that memorising solutions to mathematical problems is the only thing they've mastered over the course of their undergraduate life and are now expecting jobs that'll pay them to do the same.

Raisa Farnaz, EEE graduate from AUET, justified her demands, "I've spent 4 years studying circuits yet I genuinely have no idea how electricity works. But I sure did get A+ in all my electronics courses."

"My father's hoping that I'll get a government job and hopefully, never have to work for a living the rest of my life," continued Raisa. "But over my undergraduate years filled with exams, assignments, projects and a thesis paper, I forgot to learn one insignificant detail — what an engineer does in the first place. Never in four years of engineering did it occur to me that someday, in the workplace, I might have to apply what I've learnt."

"I'd automatically delete information from my head right after exams ended to make space for more relevant information, such as keeping up with the latest season of Stranger Things," Raisa sobbed. "If I knew this day would come, I might've dared to try something out that no engineering student has ever done before. I'd have tried to understand what I'm actually studying, for once."

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Shadman Sakib, a Civil Engineering student at Bi-Directional University, spoke about his concern, "Much like supporting Argentina in football, I came into engineering because my father told me so. My father nailed his BCS exams and got into the civil service so as you can assume, memorising information without ever putting them to use comes naturally to me. I still don't know how to crack the solution of a mathematical problem but I sure as hell know how to memorise the solution if someone else does the cracking for me."

Shadman disclosed the secrets to his success as an engineering student and said, "See I've never wasted my time in petty affairs like comprehending a problem before attempting it. Engineering is like a Christopher Nolan movie — not trying to understand it is often the best approach. But now that I'm months away from my graduation, I've been told that as an engineer, I'd have to put my civil engineering knowledge to use! I still don't know how structures work. I thought engineers just googled the design for Padma Bridge on Chegg and memorised it!"

Meanwhile, CSE graduates across the country are also shocked to know that there's more to computer engineering than stealing codes from GitHub and memorising algorithms.

Following the recent crisis, more and more engineering students are shifting their majors and getting into MBA programs in universities they previously ridiculed. With the rising popularity of students jumping across core subjects, the concerned authority's reportedly considering parkour as the new national sport of the country.

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com