The inability to convert local measurement units like Bigha or Katha to SI has hit the new generation hard as they cannot contribute to family feuds over pieces of land like their hotheaded forefathers. 

With Shadman Sakib, the only son of his father, being ignorant about his hereditary properties in Barisal, his father is now left with no egomaniac in his blood to carry on his fight and his legacy of toxic masculinity. 

"Other parents belittle their kids by comparing them with their cousins over usual things like their education, career or skin tone. However, I'm ridiculed by my father every time my cousin back home files a lawsuit against his own brother over 2 feet of land," cried Shadman Sakib while talking about his insecurities.

"I've tried participating in the feud multiple times myself every time I go to the village. But I simply can't seem to get hold of units like Bigha, Katha, etc. Just tell me how many square feet so that I can compare it to my apartment and get an idea of what's at stake here! I have no problem shedding blood over irrelevant family disputes and land I'm never going to visit but at least I have to know what I'm fighting for!" he said.

With Google Maps ruining the sense of direction for an entire generation, Shadman has also been having trouble trying to locate the land at discussion, "I also cannot figure out where this land is over which I'm supposed to assault my cousin. When I asked my father, he told me it was 500 steps to the west of the pond which is to the north of our house. In all honesty, the only West I know is the one making Kim Kardashian get a restraining order against him. So, pardon me if I cannot communicate the way cavemen did! I'm a modern-day 21st-century man who only knows the directions to a lady's heart, everything else is located using Google Maps."

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Shadman's father Mr Mokhlesur Rahman expressed his disappointment with his son, "My grandfather and my father both fought against their brothers over land. I took it up a notch, used my genetic talent in my profession and fought on behalf of other people with their brothers for their lands. I'm a lawyer, you see? Of course, I'm a bit disappointed when the only critical fight my son has is over who gets to choose the landing zone in PUBG."

However, where others see problems, coaching centres and edtech platforms in Bangladesh see an opportunity for making money. 40 Minute College, a popular edtech platform and the largest employer of BBA graduates in Bangladesh, is launching a month-long unit conversion program where the educators will teach local units of each district of Bangladesh and how to convert them to units understood by Gen-Z. 

"The students will get Bigha to SI unit conversion cheat sheet, 25 hacks for an effective land feud, and other exclusive resources included within the package. Our students will learn the art of feud from the very best as we're hiring special teachers from Brahmanbaria for this course!" said Shams Joshim, Brand, Content, Image, and Flex Manager at 40 Minute College.

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com