In my early teen years, one of my closest friends got into a relationship. It was the first official relationship in our class and it received its deserved hype. We were all very excited for him, but I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous and insecure about it.

As I grew up, my cravings for affection grew more and more. For many others like me, it wasn't suddenly about falling in love with someone or the sweet gesture of having a high school crush. It was simply about being in a relationship for the sake of it.

Can there truly be reasons to be in a relationship other than love?

In our teenage years, it's about peer pressure. When the people around you start getting into a relationship, not being in one feels wrong. You start to feel left out and insecure. You may even start questioning your worth. The idea of being someone's partner occupies your mind, so you take the first opportunity you get. The need for a relationship becomes less about love and more about the concept of it.

But soon, the infatuation dies and what is left in the relationship are two people who are tired of each other. The cloak of desire wears off and the two people start seeing through each other. The frustrated, insecure, stressed-out, sensitive, and vulnerable sides of your partner start rip through the shell of perfection your mind created. You may start hating each other and before you know it, you loathe the person you thought you loved. Not only is it harmful to you, but it is unfair to the other person as well.

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The pressure to be in a relationship

As we enter adulthood, our schedules become more hectic, leaving barely enough time for ourselves. The desperation for being in a relationship is not driven by peer pressure anymore, rather it may be the despondency we are left with. We want someone to talk to on a cold winter night, or someone to cry to when we are on the verge of a breakdown. Like a drowning man trying to clutch at straws, we hold onto the first responder to our desperation.

As we grow more comfortable, we start dumping our emotional baggage on them, leading the other person to feel responsible for our unhappiness. We crave solutions from each other instead of figuring out the root of the problem and when we fail to do so, we give up on that person.

But is it wrong to look for affection in a world that is so stoneheartedly cruel to us?

It is not. However, it is unfair to look for affection in the wrong place, which can lead to unjustly putting labels on each other while playing house. But when you pierce through the shell of the other person, truly get to know each other's vulnerabilities, and hold on to each other, something beautiful happens.

You get accepted for who you are. The emotional baggage, the vulnerabilities, mood swings and insecurities – you feel accepted and loved in your entirety. The relationship grows into something beautiful that you cherish.

For it wasn't affection or fulfilment, but rather acceptance, that we craved all along.

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com