Blender d’Or Award introduced for all athletes

It was an auspicious moment for the country when Bangladesh introduced one of the most prestigious awards in sport, the Blender d'Or, just like France's Ballon d'Or. Bangladesh even managed to surpass France as the award is being given to palyers of all sports, while France has maintained the narrow outlook of giving it only to footballers, an egregious oversight from a supposedly liberal country.

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo won a combined 12 Ballon d'Or Awards, but it will remain a regret for them that they were not fortunate or competent enough to win at least one Blender d'Or. Messi, the latest World Cup winner, could not hide his frustration as he spoke to this Satireday correspondent. "People think that my professional life is complete as I won the world cup once and Ballon d'Or seven times, but how will I tell them that without winning Bangladesh's prestigious Blender d'Or, my life is never complete?" Messi said with a heavy heart.

"Not gonna lie, my dream has never been to win the World Cup, it has alway been to win the Blender d'Or award," Ronaldo said frankly.

However, apart from those who weren't lucky enough to win this award, we are moving on to those who won this award once and reached the apex of professional achievement.

Luke Wright, one of the finest cricketers of England, won this prestigious award once and entered the elite club of Blender d'Or winners when he was playing for a Bangladeshi club. Luke Wright actually didn't look right while taking the award from some people who didn't look like they were really willing to part with such a luxurious award. "To be honest, I was really nervous while receivng such an award. I was expecting some dollars, but they gave me a priceless award the weight of which, seemed to me, was more than the weight of China's Great Wall. And I couldn't resist sharing it on social media and letting people know what I have achieved, Bleder d'Or -- the father of all awards," Luke Wright said with pride.

The latest receiver of this award was a bodybuilder of Bangladesh who discovered his latent footballing talent just after receiving the award from the organiser.

"I actually didn't disrespect the award. I was testing its durability and discovered that I could be a good footballer," the bodybuilder said while calling the names of the award-giver.

Satireday asked the organisers whether they followed the footprints of France.

"We don't follow others. Our Blender d'Or is more valuable  than France's Ballon d'Or," they said.

When asked again about how Blender d'Or carried more importance than Ballon d'Or, they said "What will you do with this useless metallic football? But you can definitely make a glass of juice anytime with our Blender d'Or. Now tell me, which do you prefer?"