99% of Bangladeshis could get ‘exposed’ before the end of 2023: researchers

Bangladesh holds the record for having the highest number of people, per square kilometre, to have been exposed on social media at least once in their lives.

It has reached such a stage that if you throw a stone in the air in Bangladesh it will definitely hit someone who has, at least once in life, been exposed on social media by another person. New data shows that a person in Bangladesh is exposed every 30 seconds.

Scientists and researchers, who were also exposed in this manner at least once, predicted that 99 percent of the total population may suffer this fate by December 31, 2023. This just shows that whoever and wherever you are, if you are a Bangladeshi, you have 99% chance to be exposed on social media, if not today, then surely tomorrow.

"I cannot even ask someone to have coffee with me. Whenever I ask a girl something on messenger, it becomes viral. I wish my short films could go viral this way."

This Satireday correspondent tried to contact some of the most popular "exposees" to get some insights.

"An honest and religious guy like me can never be exposed. All the things you heard and saw were just some rumours, spread and funded by my haters," said Sellman, country's leading "exposee" who loves selling stories on social media.

"I don't know what people think about being exposed, but I am telling you honestly that I just love to be exposed. May blessing rain down on whoever exposes me," Masafternoon, one of the most promising 'exposees' of recent times, said in a statement that seemed to be more genuine than people's candid-captioned-photos.

"I cannot even ask someone to have coffee with me. Whenever I ask a girl something on messenger, it becomes viral. I wish my short films could go viral this way," Patihash, a prominent director who has a duck farm, said with rage visible on his face.

Turning our focus away from high-profile cases like the above three, ordinary people are puzzled and clueless about what to do with the exposefest. According to a confidential source, weddings have been halted and postponed after boyfriends or girlfriends were found guilty of being exposed, proved by irrefutable screenshots. Everyone was left utterly bamboozled when a boy, named Tausif from Basabo, took with him a questionnaire when first meeting his prospective better half. One of the questions was: "Have you been ever exposed on social media?"

On the other hand, a woman named Namjanina from Basaochinina married a man who was exposed by different women on social media. When asked why she chose someone like him, she said, "Well, in future, you will not find a single person in Bangladesh who has not been exposed in his or her life. Being exposed is not an embarrassment anymore, it's an inherent characteristic."

Later, this correspondent was exposed on social media for asking people these personal questions. This just proves that researchers are absolutely right about the future of Bangladeshi people. To avoid such a situation, the remaining one percent are reportedly preparing for their IELTS exam with a view to flying to Canada.