Until roughly two hours ago, I was a proud, lifelong realist. No glass was half-full or half-empty; it was only ever a glass of water. But now, my days of thinking realistically are over.

I've realised that realistic thoughts entail the possibility of failure. No one, including myself, has ever told me, "Think realistically. You could get what you want." Instead, it's always been, "Think realistically, and prepare a plan B."

In other words, the reality being discussed was always about me missing the mark with a backup plan figured out. It never once occurred to me that realistically, there's an equal chance of me achieving my goals, assuming I tried my best and the odds weren't entirely against me.

Of course, a lot of this has to do with my perception of luck and success. Some people might be very comfortable with believing that success is something out of the ordinary while failure is more grounded in reality, but I personally find that a tad harsh. I like to think there's always the element of unpredictability that can change the course of things. There's been plenty of times I won when I was least expecting it, and lost when I thought I had a fair chance of winning. That being said, the contest between luck and effort is simply too obscure to figure out, which is why I've found an easy fix to my dilemma: I've decided to have balanced thoughts from now onwards.

My concept is simple and based on the idea that unless there's a major obstruction in my path, I'll always have equal chances of winning and losing. There's no room for dire statistics here. However, in case things go awry, I'll have alternate plans ready as always. It's just that I'll no longer think that failure is far more realistic than success.

I can see how the whole concept of having balanced thoughts can seem too cushioned to some people. Perhaps they find more ease in knowing their "realistic" chances of getting to their goals, or perhaps it's knowing something beyond them can determine the result that scares them. Either way, I think for people like me, who've subconsciously always had a sense of unease with the narrative that reality is usually conducive to failure, the practice of having balanced thoughts can be very helpful. It allows us to still take into account the possibility of failure, but it never feels like resignation before even trying. It also gives us the chance to work on our flaws without being too hard on ourselves. By no longer assuming reality is mostly directed towards failure, there's a feeling of wanting to do even better every time, and an eagerness to learn from past mistakes.

But as with most things in life, it all depends on the person. There's no fool-proof method to make everyone feel equally motivated and confident in their abilities and future, and it's all about trying out new mindsets before finding out one that wields the best results. For me, though, thinking with balance is the way to go now.

Fabiha just found out she's actually the heir apparent of Dorne. Renew your allegiance to her at afifafabiha01@gmail.com