HR head angry at rain for inspiring office workers to go home on time

Our city, akin to Singapore in many ways, has been experiencing a temperature spike over the last three weeks. The temperature was determined to keep climbing, making many wonder if the city was becoming the new Dubai.

During this time, office attendance was showing record highs in most organisations. HR managers were pleased with their daily performance reports which mainly showed who came in and how long they stayed.

"We follow a metric called KPI (Keep People In) to measure employee performance. Longer they stay the more we think they work," stated Mobasher Ahmed, junior executive HR at a local bank that cannot be named because of ongoing investigations in misappropriating large funds for buying office staplers.

Employees were averaging at least 12 hours a day for large organisations like media houses, ad agencies, MNCs and NGOs. Office goers were spending more time in the offices than previously recorded in biometric logs. "Productivity, yeah!" exclaimed the CEO of All-Time Support Solutions when asked for a comment. He promptly hung up because CEOs don't have time from counting all their money.

This spike in attendance likely had to do with current frequency of electricity load shedding. "It's so hot outside that I prefer being in the office where it is air conditioned 60 percent of the time," Raida Azifa, 25, said when asked why she was logging in seven hours more at the office each day.

Unfortunately for many HR and admin, it rained the last two days causing temperatures to drop. This comes just a couple of days after the newly appointed chief heat officer was seen planting a tree.   Following the rain, employees were seen leaving the workplaces on time. Some even had the audacity to stay home during the weekend. This caused great grievance for HR because now the KPI is down. "It is easy to get disconnected from family and friends when we get engrossed in work where air conditioning exists. I almost forgot I was married," said Tanzeel Arman, 23, who was stocking up on soap and toothbrushes for the office. 

Abida Sharmin, head HR at Headway Networks, expressed anger at the change in events and mostly at the rain. "We cannot grow as a nation if we are more concerned about going home and enjoying our free time. This is the time to hustle," she texted from her weekend retreat in Gazipur. She wanted to fire all the employees leaving office on time but that meant she had to send them home for good.  And that would kill the KPI.