Actor-politician Alan: Man of Courage, beaten for filming films

Politics is a difficult subject to master mostly because it is not offered as a Master's degree subject … you know, the kind of real politics that end up with two ministers on a talk show slapping each other.  Or members of parliament in office kick boxing each other. Or political aspirants fighting each other at voting centres.  

Last week we saw actor turned politician Alan: Man of Courage visit a voting centre to support his constituency and kiss some bald babies' heads for good luck. It did not turn out very well mostly because babies often throw up. Alan: Man of Courage is known for his unorthodox publicity campaigns which include TikTok and filming films.

He was seen posing with many of his fans trying to promote his TikTok video about friendship. At one point some youth, mostly Generation Alpha (born after 2010), asked him to politely GTFO (our dictionary says it means Grow The Fruits Organically). They told him they do not want films in their voting centre.

"We don't like people filming around. He can go film himself," said an irate young junior associate enforcer of the party.

Some say the Gen Alpha people thought Alan: Man of Courage was a fake because what the heck are films? Gen Alpha were born too late to know the term "films". They assume it is another F word, which it frankly is. An altercation broke out. They beat the actor-politician severely, driving him out of the centre. It is unclear what the main issue was.

We contacted Alan: Man of Courage for a comment. When asked how he felt right now, he responded in a gruff tone, "I'm Batman."

When asked to clarify further, he told us he is vengeance. Is he no longer Man of Courage? Or is he Man of Concussion?

Some netizens took to the worldwide internet web services to voice their opinions from a safe distance.

"Why are we so worried about an actor?" stated new Threads user Sinseer Bayezid.

"They did good, mm'kay. Donald Trump, Arnold Be Back and Ronald Reagan were actors who became politicians. We don't want more. What if people like Alan: Man of Courage are given a chance? What if they do something with that chance? I'm not easy for that," stated a fearful Farhana Kairen.

It turns out no one is sure what they are doing and no one knows why we are afraid. But we must fight what we are afraid of, especially if what we fear is small and can be pummelled to submission.