Sick of receiving bribes, man starts eating money when offered

Lobhi Chaibeshi Takai (Japanese on his mother's side), was getting increasingly anxious as days went by. It had almost been eight years since he gave joined civil services as a VAT officer. People warned him about the obscene amounts of money he'd receive, but no one gave him an exact picture of how aggressive it gets.

When Lobhi first started his career, he wondered when the money would start pouring in. He joined at a Tk 12,000 salary and there was no way he could start a family with that. Where was all that money people kept talking about?

One fine day he starts seeing his contemporaries receiving special envelopes at odd hours of the day without making any eye contact. A little later, he would see them smiling ear to ear and then they'd proceed to sign on a piece of paper and take a nap.

"See the trick here Lobhi is that you have to play hard to get. Our jobs are simplistic, but you can never let the average citizen dare to think that way," said Telbahadur, a close colleague of Lobhi during a random lunch break.

"First, they come to you with some file, or some license that they need for their store. So, you have to make sure you have a bunch of empty files lying around in stacks so that they know you can't give them any special treatment.

"Then people will end up offering bribes on their own to get the job done on time!"

"Precisely, Lobhi. Plus, you have it in your name, it shouldn't be hard for you," said Telbahadur, making Lobhi blush.

And so the next few years went by without any worry for money. In his almost eight-year career, Lobhi purchased four flats, two brand new cars (he can't bear to look at reconditioned ones), a six bigha piece of land in North Rice. He set up a separate fund account for his son and wife, bought shares of multiple companies.

But with time, Lobhi got tired of how easy it had gotten to get money. Before he could even pull his hack, people would just take money out of their pockets even without a second's haste. The game had gotten way too easy. The thrill was gone.

And to top it off, although he was rich, he had to act like a meagre government servant who had a below average salary, and he hated people thinking he was poor.

Last Tuesday, Lobhi went for a drive at a store since they had been using a fake license. As soon as he went near the shopkeeper to talk to him, the shopkeeper smiled and took large notes out of his register.

"ARE YOU %$#^^$&@ KIDDING ME?!" exclaimed Lobhi. He snatched the money out of the shopkeeper's hand and shoved it in his mouth.

Gulping down the last few bits of money, a raging Lobhi said, "Its good for digestion."