Girlfriend changes angle, trained boyfriend confused, organises human chain

Ahmed Reza organised a human chain last week demanding the ban of all social media usage for couples in ongoing relationships. He thinks social media hides and distorts reality. It can cause immense disturbance to the mental wellbeing thoughts so popular among influencer reels these days.

"We've been dating for two weeks now. I have checked her profile for months before that and I never saw that side of her. Why now?" asked Reza, shaking his head as he recounted how his regular scrolling of his girlfriend's profile led to a startling discovery. One day, while running his usual checks, he saw an unknown attractive woman's picture on his girlfriend's profile.

He could not recognise the woman and asked if she was someone else. Alas, it was the girlfriend herself and this led to arguments of immense proportions online, offline and in some other dimensions. After more than two days, Reza came to realise his mistake. He was accustomed to seeing only one type of picture of his girlfriend on social media. Radia (name changed for privacy by replacing the N with an R), like all women, had a preferred side when it came to social media photo uploads.

All her photos showed her right side, angled exactly 36 degrees to the camera. As the saying goes, show your best side to the world, something Radia and millions of women on Instagram take to heart. As a result, Reza only ever saw the right side, never doubting it might be the wrong side one day.

After having posted more than a few million selfies, last week Radia decided to spice things up in her life. She posted a picture of her left side. It was never seen before outside real life. Shocked and confused, Reza told reporters yesterday that he wished his girlfriend was open to revealing her multiple facets during their time together online. He is not sure how this relationship can continue. "I have already been trained, now I have to start all over again," exclaimed the worried boyfriend.

It involves Reza taking advanced photography classes to take pictures in ever more creative ways so all of Radia's pictures come out looking properly filtered. As millions can attest, the only thing worse than being an unsuccessful boyfriend is to be a boyfriend who is useless at taking aesthetic photos of his girlfriend for social media. Megapixels are useless. "It's not the size but how you use it [the camera] that matters," said a woeful Reza.