A man from Basabo has opened a Tinder account after he learned from one of his friends that dates on Tinder and Bumble were more attainable than in the current market.

Amid the ongoing chaos of inflation, dates added insult to injury with a price higher than Mount Everest. Very confidential research shows that the only people who can afford to buy dates were the ones seen at the pre-wedding event of Anant Ambani.

Like millions of others, hammered by the unusual prices of dates, Tausif, our Basabo man, set out to find dates at a reasonable price. But everywhere he went, his fate cheated him.

"When I asked the price of one kg of dates, the seller quoted me the price of an iPhone 15," he recounted, astonishment still marking his face.

The man went to every nook and cranny of the city and left no stone unturned to find dates that were good and being sold at a price lower than the iPhone 15.

"I am all done already. Now I am only taking pre-orders for the next year," Tausif was told by one of the sellers, who allegedly became a billionaire overnight.

"My dates are sold out. All I have now is money, money and money. How much money do you want to buy, just tell me?" another seller said while counting long, wide and red notes.

"At best all I can do for you is give you some photos of dates we sold earlier. Don't worry. We charge 15 percent less than the actual price of the photo," said another seller.

Tausif was utterly bemused by the geniality of the third trader, and preserved this once-in-a lifetime moment in his brain. Disappointed and disheartened after failing to find dates that are remotely affordable or available, he decided to give up and forgo dates.

"Just when I felt shattered and decided to return home a vanquished soldier, my friend appeared from nowhere and asked me why I, a date seeker, had not opened a Tinder or Bumble account yet. He said dates were abundant on those platforms. So, I did what he said although I was totally unaware of those e-commerce apps," he explained.

One man's struggle to find dates at an affordable price piqued the interest of our Satireday correspondent, who was also clueless about whether dates were indeed available.

To know the aftermath of the story, when our correspondent asked Tausif whether he really found dates on those platforms, he said, "All I found there were people, most of whom are my neighbours. There were no dates, nor any option to add to the cart, let alone buy!"