Being nice is underrated

"She is the nicest person I have ever met. I don't know how she can be nice to even the meanest girl in our class". This was the conversation my younger sister and her friend, both of whom are in seventh grade, were having about one of their friends. And it made me think what an achievement it would be to have someone describe you as the "nicest person they have ever met". While we continuously chase compliments on our looks, success, skills, and abilities, we often overlook the impact of being nice or kind on people, including ourselves. We fail to realise the weight of what it truly means to be kind and nice.

We learn the meaning of these words as early as kindergarten but it takes longer for many of us to truly live by them. Somehow, they become diluted, even undervalued. It is natural for us to comprehend and appreciate the significance or necessity of something only when we go through the experience ourselves because it is often difficult for us to picture ourselves in someone else's shoes. 

We expect our friends and family to understand our feelings, sympathise with us, and be there when we need them. Likewise, they expect the same from us. To genuinely connect with others and meet these needs of theirs, we should be able to put ourselves in their place. While sympathy helps us express concern and sorrow, empathy goes a step further by allowing us to step into the person's world and share in their experience. In doing so, we make them feel seen and heard. Empathy is an emotional bridge that connects us to others and it is one of the most impactful aspects of emotional intelligence.

Being kind is especially important when it comes to building meaningful friendships and relationships. We expect our friends to give us a little space on a bad day, or ignore our rudeness when we are not in the best mood. Every relationship should have room for these small missteps; we should try not to take a friend's temporary grumpiness or silence personally but understand that everyone has off days and we need to give them the space they need. We can achieve this by nurturing empathy within ourselves. It is also important for empathy to be a two-way street. We cannot expect our loved ones to continuously extend patience and grace during our tough times without reciprocating that understanding when they need it. 

In our society, being "nice" and "kind" are sometimes viewed as soft or secondary traits. They are considered less significant compared to qualities like being confident, clever, and ambitious. Yet, if we think about it, being kind is one of the most powerful qualities a person can have. Being kind is not only about being polite but about being genuinely nice and empathetic, even in difficult situations and towards people who do not reciprocate.

While we constantly celebrate the go-getter, the winner, the person who stands out, we think being kind and gentle means letting our guard down and being weak in the face of the fast-tracked, competitive world. However, does kindness mean letting people walk all over you? Certainly not. It is a common misconception that kindness translates into suppressing your own needs. Rather, kindness means not allowing disrespect but holding onto your values even when others do not.  You can make the conscious choice to maintain your boundaries while still showing compassion.

It takes quite a lot of courage to always choose kindness, especially in the face of negativity or indifference. So, maybe, being the "nicest person" is not a small achievement after all but rather a badge of honour. If even seventh graders can see that being genuinely nice and kind sets someone apart, maybe all of us should too. Next time someone describes you as "nice", take a moment before brushing it off. It might just be the highest compliment you could receive.

Silwat Quader is a first-year Economics student at NSU, reach her at silwatquader@gmail.com