Star Youth

Navigating life as an only child

Graphical representation of an only child
Illustration: Syeda Afrin Tarannum

Growing up as an only child, I often found myself daydreaming about having a sibling. I'd imagine the laughter, the shared secrets, and the sibling rivalry. My parents would smile knowingly when I would ask about having a brother or sister. Their answer was always the same: "You're enough for us." And so, I learned to navigate life as a party of one.

As I've stepped into adulthood, I've realised that my upbringing without a sibling has shaped how I approach relationships. Without siblings, I leaned heavily on my friendships, which became my chosen family. The absence of siblings did not make me lonely. Instead, it taught me to value deep, meaningful connections with those I allow in my life.

Without the constant negotiation and compromise that comes with having siblings, I developed a strong sense of independence and self-reliance. This allowed me to make decisions without needing approval from others. However, it also presented challenges when forming deep connections with people who are more accustomed to an interdependent lifestyle. Sometimes, my strong sense of independence can be misinterpreted as detachment, when really, it's just the way I've learned to cope.

A common misconception is that children who grow up without siblings are more likely to be introverted. That is not always the case. While some may prefer solitude, others are highly extroverted and enjoy social settings. I've found that the adaptability to toggle between solitude and social interaction is one of the hidden strengths of growing up without siblings.

There's also the sobering side of being an only child, which becomes more apparent as parents age. Without siblings to share the load the responsibility of caring for ageing parents falls solely on your shoulders. This can bring about a unique form of loneliness, as you navigate difficult decisions and responsibilities on your own. While friends can offer support, there's no one else who shares that exact same bond with your parents – no one to truly share the weight of that responsibility.

But then there's the fun side. Peace and quiet were the norm in my childhood home, a state I've come to appreciate even more as an adult. Without the constant noise and chaos that often comes with siblings, I had more time to focus on my own interests and hobbies. I was free to develop a deep sense of self, uninfluenced by the presence of a sibling. And let's be honest, I never had to share my toys, clothes, or my room.

There are moments when I wonder what it would have been like to have a sibling to share the ups and downs of life. But being an only child has made me who I am today – someone who values independence, cherishes deep connections, and finds joy in the little things.

So, sure, it sometimes gets lonely. But at least I don't have to share my chocolate with anyone else.

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Navigating life as an only child

Graphical representation of an only child
Illustration: Syeda Afrin Tarannum

Growing up as an only child, I often found myself daydreaming about having a sibling. I'd imagine the laughter, the shared secrets, and the sibling rivalry. My parents would smile knowingly when I would ask about having a brother or sister. Their answer was always the same: "You're enough for us." And so, I learned to navigate life as a party of one.

As I've stepped into adulthood, I've realised that my upbringing without a sibling has shaped how I approach relationships. Without siblings, I leaned heavily on my friendships, which became my chosen family. The absence of siblings did not make me lonely. Instead, it taught me to value deep, meaningful connections with those I allow in my life.

Without the constant negotiation and compromise that comes with having siblings, I developed a strong sense of independence and self-reliance. This allowed me to make decisions without needing approval from others. However, it also presented challenges when forming deep connections with people who are more accustomed to an interdependent lifestyle. Sometimes, my strong sense of independence can be misinterpreted as detachment, when really, it's just the way I've learned to cope.

A common misconception is that children who grow up without siblings are more likely to be introverted. That is not always the case. While some may prefer solitude, others are highly extroverted and enjoy social settings. I've found that the adaptability to toggle between solitude and social interaction is one of the hidden strengths of growing up without siblings.

There's also the sobering side of being an only child, which becomes more apparent as parents age. Without siblings to share the load the responsibility of caring for ageing parents falls solely on your shoulders. This can bring about a unique form of loneliness, as you navigate difficult decisions and responsibilities on your own. While friends can offer support, there's no one else who shares that exact same bond with your parents – no one to truly share the weight of that responsibility.

But then there's the fun side. Peace and quiet were the norm in my childhood home, a state I've come to appreciate even more as an adult. Without the constant noise and chaos that often comes with siblings, I had more time to focus on my own interests and hobbies. I was free to develop a deep sense of self, uninfluenced by the presence of a sibling. And let's be honest, I never had to share my toys, clothes, or my room.

There are moments when I wonder what it would have been like to have a sibling to share the ups and downs of life. But being an only child has made me who I am today – someone who values independence, cherishes deep connections, and finds joy in the little things.

So, sure, it sometimes gets lonely. But at least I don't have to share my chocolate with anyone else.

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