Hakuna Mamata

CAPTAIN'S log, star date 4698.3. Hartal -- the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Bangladesh. Its continuing mission -- to seek out new strifes and new abominations, to explore strange new ways of self destruction, to boldly go where no (sane) man has gone before."

Theme music of Star Trek. 

"Captain. I see normal traffic. Logically speaking, hartal is being ignored!"

"Sorry Spock, this is one case that defies logic. Hartal is very much there. It's just that it now has a more human and sometimes a vulture, er, Vulcan-like touch to it, allowing normal life to continue. Oh, lest you get carried away and forget, the occasional cocktail blasts are just a friendly reminder that it's still a hartal."

"Then may I deduce that buses are the root of all evils and therefore, logically speaking, must be burned?"

"Wrong again First Officer."

"Then logic says that the company that comes up with a flame resistant design for buses will make a killing."  

Precisely -- will make a killing, and Vulcans are not known for making puns. Start-up world, get to work. And you've got time as death, destruction and mayhem are there to stay as the biggest bargaining chip. No matter who is the incumbent and who wants to be the incumbent, hartal continues to be the preferred campaign trail to power. I bet all voters are being wooed by corruption, inaction, indecision, hartal, a shattered economy and the road to Afghanistan as we address a crisis with a crisis. As a campaign pledge, at least tell us when and how the payments will be made for repairing all the damages once/if it all ends.

Well, at least we have a perfectly stable status quo. 

So, Happy Friday! As mini-trucks from Fakruddin Biriyani sporting 'On Emergency Food Duty' stickers race towards the popular wedding spots, I greet, "How was your (five day) weekend?"

"OK".

And then the expected phrase as an afterthought: "…under the circumstances."

Under the circumstances, Mamata Banerjee arrives.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and Mamata Banerjee is from West Bengal. She is not too unfamiliar with the circumstances here. 

Too bad her schedule didn't allow her to visit the Savar Memorial. She could've checked up on the state of the sapling planted by President Pranab Mukherjee (also in town a while back…under the circumstances) which, oh by the way, was supposed to have been nourished only with water from the Teesta. 

Her intentions are good…under the circumstances that Delhi no longer has to rely on a weak coalition, which may have made her realize that short term prominence is far better than long term obscurity. So, we see a far cry from her fire breathing form throwing doubts on the Teesta deal (her other name, Ms Doubtfire…) to a more amicable fellow Bengali, speaking and honoring the same language as she makes a bee line for the Shaheed Minar. And like any other West Bengali coming to town, she doesn't fail to mention and salivate at the ilish.

Good! I think she (now) realizes that delicacies, spawning, livelihood, environment, economy and ecology are somewhat related to water in our Circle of Life. We dare to hope -- Hakuna Mamata…

But if nothing happens and Bangladesh remains a 56,000 square mile corridor with clogged arteries, Mamata Banerjee's trip will not have been in vain. She will have at least taken back home some new pointers on upgrading to Bandh 2.0.

The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: [email protected]