HUMOROUSLY YOURS
Heavy New Year
The legendary ball drops at New York City’s Time Square, the Sydney Opera House is all lit up from fireworks as are the Eiffel Tower and many other landmarks around the world, not to mention the countless non-descript ones.
The smog was the limit
Everyone knows you are the sharpest officer, but be prepared to put “Maj. (Retd.)” before your name once you hang up your uniform for good. Ok, maybe not. Since you stand out so much from the rest, you’ll advance further, to the rank of Lt. Col., tops. Ok? Now go, finish up your staff college and be happy with “PSC” at the end of your name and stop dreaming of adding an NDC (National Defense College) on your business card.
Have None, Will Travel
You want to now pack me up and send me to Timbuktu?” yells Dennis Palmer, sitting at the head of the table in the meeting room.
HUMOROUSLY YOURS / Every breath you take
Neither Pink Floyd nor the Pink Panther had anything to do with Bangladesh’s pink wash, but the good thing is that Bangladesh at least didn’t let India play for a good two days during the first test. In fact, the runs of our boys in the first innings were 0,1,8,1,6,0,0,0,4, which together was perhaps a cryptic message to Robi to once again pick up the team sponsorship.
To Cut or Not to Cut
When a cyclone is named Bulbul, chances are people, at least in Bangladesh, won’t take it seriously. And we are Bangladeshis—what freaks us out is not a number 9 signal, but the lowest number
Indecent Proposal
A bit more about “special” rooms from my column a few weeks ago, when Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology (Buet) was in the news for the wrong reasons. It’s room 429, Nazrul Islam Hall.
The last and the ludicrous
Hats off to the Ministry of Public Administration for taking the bold step of introducing paternity leave. Better be clear though about the cap on the number of such leaves, else we will have a population explosion 2.0.
And Then There Were None…
Stillwater, Oklahoma. Dad is picking up his son from high school. Mom is videoing the event. Dad rushes to hug the son. The only reason the video goes viral is that dad is in a Speedo swimming trunk (more of a thong), and nothing else.
It's Party Time!
Despite not being a leap year, 2018 for many in Bangladesh is more than a leap year, consisting of 370 or even more days. With a moratorium on New Year's Eve parties, at least on the ones outdoors and on rooftops (no mention of backyards, since they are practically extinct), most have pushed back the partying by a week, unless they are already in Bangkok.
The Proverbial Line
They do think black and white, well dark and white. The fact that it takes 190 years for the British to eventually leave their Jewel in the Crown just shows how easily the “darker” world can be manipulated.
It's part of growing up
The photo of the boy from St Joseph's School is flashed during the news on BTV, the only broadcasting channel in the country. His gone missing is national news. Two days later, there is a collective sigh of relief as he re-emerges, unscathed. Domestic interrogations yield that he got a detention at school and fled to his village home to escape the wrath of his parents.
Harry Oughta Know
For myself and the senior midshipmen, this is a serious naval exercise. I have my marching orders from the Commandant of the Bangladesh Naval Academy to get serious about a dose of humour for the soon to be commissioned officers.
The Evolution of WMDs
“Blessings only” is the blessing that has been the best blessing in the blessed season of WMDs—Weddings and Marriages of December. As an engineer I am black and white—at the wedding venue I queue up with all the others who have disregarded the last line of the invitation card.
The Accountable Link
Times's up!” Everyone stops writing and places his/her test papers on the desk of Professor Ted Birdsall.
Tails You Lose
The BBC Radio anchor announces live on air: “Well, that was our guest Naveed Mahbub. After the news we have with us in the studio—Jeffrey Archer.”
Heart to Heart
The thin fused me corrects myself in the nick of time. After all, I have a six-year-old right in front of me. They are blotting papers, more so, when it comes to audio-visual equivalent of the Apple of Eden.
The Four Commandments
The sophomore (second-year) engineering student sitting in front of my desk is sharp and confident. But being a typical Bangalee, I can't get rid of a parallel train of thought: what's up with his rather unusual circumstances of applying for the position of a summer intern?