Blackout was planned to get people off social media: Officials

After the blackout this week, rumours have been rife on social media speculating its causes.

Opposition parties have been quick to blame the authorities.

Some have gone so far as to say the authorities are stealing from the grid to maintain their lavish lifestyles.

But when this correspondent, who usually refuses to meet people, got down to investigate, he found something entirely different was going on.

With mental health awareness at its peak -- peak because before people would straight up stigmatise anyone with mental health issues -- in the country and World Mental Health Day coming up, authorities wanted to do something different this time.

Studies upon studies revealed that overuse of social media is directly proportionate with declining mental health.

But according to the government's Superbly Difficult Goals-2100, by the year 2100, all people of this country should be somewhat happy with their lives.

And to achieve that goal the government decided it would find ways to keep people off social media, to which end it implemented draconian laws punishing people for posts on social media that "hurt" others.

But nothing seemed to be working. Children, adults, even infants were hooked to the machine, constantly consuming drama, constantly churning out drama.

With Mental Health Day fast approaching and this year being the first that the nation became a signatory to the SDG-2100, something needed to be done.

So, high authorities decided the only way to keep people off social media and bring back 90s nostalgia is to implement a long blackout -- making sure IPS' backups run out, generator fuel runs out, mobile networks glitch and people are well and truly plunged into darkness.

"It really seemed to have worked. People actually had candlelight dinners, children went to the roof and people took photographs of a dark and ethereal city. What can be more beautiful?" said one top authority, not willing to be named.

He further added, that since the campaign was so successful they are thinking of more blackouts in the future.