Satireday

Concertgoers honoured with medals of heroism

concert
Photo: Tijs van Leur

The city recently witnessed an epic concert featuring a YouTube sensation from our neighbouring country. Tickets sold out faster than you could say "barbecue sauce," because the people realised the only other thing they can do in this city is to go to a food shop and eat concoctions dipped in barbeque sauce. Either that or visit a bridge.

The demand for tickets was so great that organisers upped the price because, why not. If you are willing to pay three times the amount to eat 'aaloo bhorta' simply because it is spelled Pomme Puree in the french looking menu, then yeah, pay up.

However, the concertgoers soon discovered that the event would not only give them audio stimulus but also crushing despair. The faced poor ventilation, no complimentary deodorants, overwhelming crowds, and scams to sell plots in the mystical Foy's Lake. Some frustrated attendees took to social media accusing the organisers of greedily overselling tickets well beyond the venue's capacity of 3000 people.

"Having 10,000 attendees is simply inconceivable. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, people felt that way, but it's not accurate. There were only 9,700 people," one organiser corrected.

"Having 10,000 attendees is simply inconceivable. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, people felt that way, but it's not accurate. There were only 9,000 people," one organiser corrected.

Some concert goers were prevented from taking their water bottles inside and had to throw them outside all over the lawn. "Water bottles are a safety hazard. People throw them when they forget the lyrics. But you could buy them from stalls inside which are significantly pricier and thus safer. You don't throw around a pricey new iPhone, do you?"

In the end, the organisers decided to award a medal of honour to all ticket holders because they risked their lives to contribute to the economy. Not only that they showed great resilience by not fainting or dying more than once.

A concert is all about igniting the senses and arousing emotions. As it stood, people were feeling all kinds of emotions starting from rage to confusion and severe hysteria. 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger," said the organiser in a Scrapchat tweet post gram. 

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Concertgoers honoured with medals of heroism

concert
Photo: Tijs van Leur

The city recently witnessed an epic concert featuring a YouTube sensation from our neighbouring country. Tickets sold out faster than you could say "barbecue sauce," because the people realised the only other thing they can do in this city is to go to a food shop and eat concoctions dipped in barbeque sauce. Either that or visit a bridge.

The demand for tickets was so great that organisers upped the price because, why not. If you are willing to pay three times the amount to eat 'aaloo bhorta' simply because it is spelled Pomme Puree in the french looking menu, then yeah, pay up.

However, the concertgoers soon discovered that the event would not only give them audio stimulus but also crushing despair. The faced poor ventilation, no complimentary deodorants, overwhelming crowds, and scams to sell plots in the mystical Foy's Lake. Some frustrated attendees took to social media accusing the organisers of greedily overselling tickets well beyond the venue's capacity of 3000 people.

"Having 10,000 attendees is simply inconceivable. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, people felt that way, but it's not accurate. There were only 9,700 people," one organiser corrected.

"Having 10,000 attendees is simply inconceivable. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, people felt that way, but it's not accurate. There were only 9,000 people," one organiser corrected.

Some concert goers were prevented from taking their water bottles inside and had to throw them outside all over the lawn. "Water bottles are a safety hazard. People throw them when they forget the lyrics. But you could buy them from stalls inside which are significantly pricier and thus safer. You don't throw around a pricey new iPhone, do you?"

In the end, the organisers decided to award a medal of honour to all ticket holders because they risked their lives to contribute to the economy. Not only that they showed great resilience by not fainting or dying more than once.

A concert is all about igniting the senses and arousing emotions. As it stood, people were feeling all kinds of emotions starting from rage to confusion and severe hysteria. 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger," said the organiser in a Scrapchat tweet post gram. 

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