Economic success now defined by how often men change the colour of their car

Economists worldwide have ditched traditional metrics like GDP that were always used to identify prosperity of a nation. It is no longer in fashion. Woke activists have been especially relieved now that the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) concept has been thrown out the window because they find it offensive to have the word "Gross" in their regular conversation. But also, a new theory is now in place.  

The new concept talks about how we use a product as the measurement of success. The paper titled "Economic success defined by the number of times men change the colour of their car" has been accepted as the de facto theory for evaluating a country and whether the nation should be allowed to host Olympics.

Jean True Dough, secretary of one of the nations currently keeping a quiet watch on unfolding wars explained how this new theory works. "A first-world country that mainly produces weapons could stop an entire warring nation like Israel but instead they are worried how it will look on their Wikipedia page. That is not success," she exclaimed. "Success belongs to those who use it."

Bangladeshi car owners have no money to change the colour because it costs a whopping Tk 16,000 in legal fees, broker fees, traffic jam fuel costs, and price of chotpoti at the waiting line of the Department of Vehicle Matters.

Nobel Laureate Frederick Afterthot weighed in, questioning the value of mere production metrics. "America churns out weapons, but success is not about making guns. It's about using them effectively, which, erm, their police force does. That's real success," he mused.

According to the theory, developing countries like Bangladesh, Kenya and Botswana have a lower prosperity index simply because car owners there (or here, depending on your VPN settings) are busy buying boring Toyotas in silver and pearl because that has good resale value.

Bangladeshi car owners have no money to change the colour because it costs a whopping Tk 16,000 in legal fees, broker fees, traffic jam fuel costs, and price of chotpoti at the waiting line of the Department of Vehicle Matters.

On the other hand, successful countries with a very high index like Dubai and Qatar don't believe in changing colour. When they want a new colour for their car, they replace the car and get it in a new shade. The old one is sent to Bangladesh.

The new theory is widely accepted especially by undergraduate students who are happy now that their syllabus is reduced from 22 chapters to three. This found worldwide support in the business and political communities.

Other countries posited similar concepts where prosperity is defined by the number of diapers being changed in a day and the number of cosmetics such as lipsticks that women use.