Forgotten film actor’s dance moves mistaken for heart attack

In a bizarre incident last week, semi-notable TV and film actor Jaded Kzan found himself rushed to the hospital after attempting to showcase his dance moves at a party. Clad in black faux leather, the actor was socialising with other guests when he suddenly contorted his body, convulsed, collapsed and crumpled to the floor, seemingly burdened by the weight of his recent IELTS preparation for a trip to the United States.   

"I thought this was it. He bent down as if to pick something up, then shot up crookedly as if Bane from Batman had broken his back, and then he started waving his left hand in the air like he just didn't care," recounted Simina Samin, a dancer hired to mingle with the crowd and distract people whenever the actor would say something awkward.

Faisal, an ardent fan of the TV show House, immediately sprang into action, assuming that the actor was suffering from a stroke, the flu, or even cancer. "I tackled him to the ground and began performing chest compressions. It appeared as though he was experiencing a stroke, the flu, or even cancer. Eight seasons of watching House, M.D. have prepared me for this very moment. My mother always said 'porashunay fail korli, aaro phone tip boshe boshe'," he gloated proudly at his quotation within quotes.

To the collective relief of many, Jaded Kzan remained sprawled on the ground. Some guests just wanted to go home. An ambulance was promptly called, and Jaded Kzan was swiftly whisked away to the hospital. At 10:46pm, the doctors there pronounced him irrelevant upon arrival.

Medical professionals later confirmed that the actor had not suffered a stroke, nor had he been struck down by overwhelming embarrassment, as many had assumed. He was simply knocked out by the chest compressions administered by Faisal.

   Fortunately, Jaded Kzan made a full recovery and is now alive and well. Unfortunately, during his unconscious moments, he had a dream where he was asked to become a dancer and put up viral videos on social media. The actor Kzan (pronounced Makkhon) asked women everywhere not to cry because he will be back. On an unrelated note, a major sewer leak has erupted in Mohammadpur.