Man arrested for criticising the reverse sweep

A man yesterday became the first to be arrested for criticising the cricket shot called the reverse sweep. In a precedent-setting move by the authorities, Allout Yesman, 43, was arrested under the Insecurity Act.

This has come as a show of immense support for one of the country's most emotional batters, whose addiction to the reverse sweep has allegedly cost the country many cricket matches in the past (this is the opinion of past critics, not of Satireday).

Myopic Fahim, recently, in an important match, at an important moment, played the reverse sweep to the wrong ball and was bowled. He needed to bat normally for just five more minutes and the team could have relaxed for 40 minutes. Critics have said that he has been guilty of such "brain implosions", "stupidity", "utter idiocy" and "obsessive need to show he can play the shot" (again, their words, not ours) countless times in the past.

In the aftermath, Jai Bolentai Houk, the captain of the team, said, "I support his right to play the reverse sweep. I would ask you not to criticise Bhai; that is bad for him, bad for the team, and bad for the country."

That last bit was all law enforcers needed to arrest Allout after he went on a rant accusing the batter of not being able to play the shot, yet repeatedly trying to play it.

"Like the captain said, it was bad for the country, yet Allout went on wantonly criticising the shot," said a police official requesting anonymity. "We had no choice but to arrest him, in the interests of the country."

Before any of this happened, Fahim had said in a press conference that he would play the reverse sweep twice, thrice and even four times in an innings.

In related news, the Board, Cricket Board (B,CB) have made it mandatory for all domestic batters to play the reverse sweep at least twice an innings, so that batters could have the influence and ability of Fahim, and for the good of the country.