Poor man tries to pull himself up by his bootstraps, boots fall apart

Intriguing events unravelled last Tuesday, as Azib-o-Garib, Minister for Poverty, visited a slum in the capital's Dogargaon area.  

While speaking to an elderly destitute man about his sufferings, the minister suggested the man pull himself up by his bootstraps, as the society and government can only do so much to protect poor people from starvation.

But as the poor old man, who said his name was Badshah Miya, bent down and tried to pull on the straps of the ancient looking pair of boots he was wearing, the boots disintegrated in his hands.

The seams fell apart and the brittle old leather cracked. In fact, the old man's foot seemed to go through the boots as the sole collapsed under his dirty feet and the rest of the boots came away with his hands.

A roll of laughter spread throughout the throng of press and bystanders present at the scene, as the minister tried to hide his embarrassment.

Badshah Miya, however, was left seething.

The seams fell apart and the brittle old leather cracked. In fact, the old man's foot seemed to go through the boots as the sole collapsed under his dirty feet and the rest of the boots came away with his hands.

"I have had this pair of boots since 1978. In fact, this is my only pair of footwear. I would never have pulled on my bootstraps unless the minister told me to, but now I have no shoes. The minister said he'll pay for a new pair of shoes for me, but what about the emotional price of losing an old pair of boots?" he said.

The minister blamed the opposition for delivering low quality boots to poor people.

"This was a concerted effort by the opposition to embarrass the current government. I have spoken to Badshah Miya and he has told me this boot was given to him by opposition activists," the minister said. However, Badshah Miya denies this.

The minister then shared a plan to mitigate this situation.

"I'm personally used to wearing Dr. Martens or Timberlands at the very least, so I didn't expect poor people's boots to be so weak in structure. This only goes on to show how much we still have to do to elevate the unfortunate in our society. We have planned to purchase a million pairs of boots from Doc Martens and distribute them among the poor. A team of 98 observers from the ministry and my family will travel to England to visit Dr. Martens factories and to make sure the boots are up to the mark in terms of quality," he informed the press.

It is expected that a budget that could build at least 139 primary schools will be allocated at the cabinet meeting next week to fast-track this project.