Tali-Ban ready to deploy peacekeepers in Southeast Asian countries plagued by US bullying

In support of allies China, a spokesperson of Tali-ban -- a religious organisation which shoots on site anyone who is seen clapping in joy --- on Thursday has declared that the group is ready to deploy peacekeepers in Southeast Asian countries bullied by the United States.  

The comments were made at another one of Tali-Ban's eye-opening visionary press briefings where they announced a string of new financial commitments made by Beijing.

"We are always ready to support all Southeast Asian countries plagued by US rule. We will not impose ourselves on them. We will carry out peacekeeping missions by imposing it on ourselves first, and then presenting it as an example to them -- that is the Tali-Ban vision of governance," said the unnamed but fully armed spokesperson.

While answering questions, the spokesperson also said their vision for the future has already been outlined in religion. "The rules are very clear, and we are in consultation right now to figure out what policies we can draft."

When pressed about China's treatment of the Uighurs – who follow the same religion of which Tali-Ban says they are the sole guardians -- in Xinjiang, the spokesperson ended the press briefing, exited the building while firing stray shots at protesting women.

In a separate yet related development (go figure) the country's former President Ashlo Bhagi apologised to his countrymen for fleeing the country with millions in cash when the Tali-Ban took over.

"I did it for peace of my people," he said in a televised address. He however did not know that the microphone was still recording after the interview ended and he said: "By my people I mean my family, and by peace I mean the comfort only millions can buy…. Am I right, am I right or am I right?"

Email your satire pieces, cartoons, comic strips or whatever tickles your funny bone to starsatireday@gmail.com and you too may have something to show for wasting your time