Twisted thoughts, warped words, and despicable deeds

You have all been invited for "daal-bhaat to a gorib's house" by (surprise, surprise) a well-to-do host. Obviously, he is far from being poor. Or else, he would not have invited you.

In fact, the truly poor just asks you to come with all the warmth a rice bowl can hold. No pretentious mannerism.

On the day of the invitation, you find the table laid out, not with daal-bhaat, but with the finest crockery filled to the brim with umpteen dishes, from Bangladeshi to Mughal, Thai to Turkish. The only truth in his tidings was that kachchi biriyani has rice. The rest was his futility to shroud his humility.

Obviously, the host had always wished to entertain his guests with a cuisine that would portray his generosity. Guests are used to such vain shows of humbleness, and they will expect biriyani or pilau.

This happens all the time. We play with a statement to add spicy flavour to our lives. Under those circumstances, we mean almost the opposite of what we say. Our deeds are often what we did not vouch for. And we very often do not uphold our vows. Fortunately, our thoughts are invisible, usually undiscoverable, until we open our mouth or conduct an activity.

In the game of cricket, there is an oft-used phrase, "steal a run" … that is, a run was apparently not possible, but by guile and with considerable risk the batters hoodwink the fielders and complete the run.

The husband of a woman cricketer has been hearing "steal a run" only too often. He has seen spectators give special cheers of jubilation after each such stolen run. And, therefore, one bright sunny morning, in perfect cricket conditions, while the women cricketers were busy at a practice session, he went back to the flat that he and his cricketer wife share with another woman cricketer and her husband.

The husband did not steal a run. He went material. By the time the women cricketers returned from their practice, the husband had pocketed two mobile sets and a couple of thousand dollars.

From the other woman, not his wife. He may be a stealer, but he is not stupid.

Unfortunately for him, he was declared out after the matter was referred to the third umpire. Police caught him by checking the CC camera footage. Cricketers know that it does not always pay to steal, a run that is. In his defence, it can be said that he is not a cricketer, but the husband of one.

This one is doing the rounds on the Net. Two old men are enjoying tea in a park. One says, "Did you know that lions make love ten to fifteen times a day?"

"Aww, darn!" says his friend, "and I just joined Rotary!"

Rotarians in Bangladesh have more reasons to regret than missing out on royal duties.

Rotary weekly meetings invoke commitment to service and ethical standards, and pledge to dignify one's vocation. Ironically, the corrupt among them are also in business. Every thief in a lounge suit will vouch that their vocation is "dignified".

"One bad apple can spoil the barrel" has never been more apt. There are several bad apples though in Bangladesh Rotary movement, as globally acknowledged.

Only last month, Rotary International (RI), the governing body of the prestigious centurion worldwide movement, declared that clubs in Bangladesh will be barred from some activities for a period of at least three years due to "improper governance practices". An impropriety could be, for example, a past Bangladesh Rotary governor telling a Rotarian that an amount of Tk 2 crore would be needed to become a candidate for governor. With that amount of money, four much-needed hospitals could be established. Perhaps RI found out.

RI has banned all committees and vacated all leadership roles nationally. More humiliatingly, a foreigner (from India) has been appointed to oversee Rotary activities in Bangladesh. Most damaging for the thieves is the directive that Bangladeshis are ineligible to participate in Rotary Foundation grants for three years. That was one major avenue of corruption. But those who have already performed their solemn selfish duty at the cost of the country do not care.

RI has uncovered instances of "unethical activities, phantom clubs and members, corruption in voting purposes, and election engineering", although Rotary's Four-Way Test questions one's conscience regarding truth, fairness, and goodwill. There is no answer from our side. Such "international recognition" is demeaning for the nation, but the Rotary leadership are now believers of "the dumb can have no enemies".

A man was slapped in public, much like what RI has done. He returned to his friends and said complacently, "They hit me yes, but they could not take my ijjat".