Published on 12:00 AM, March 02, 2024

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‘We’re land optimisers, not grabbers’

In the bustling world of business, a group of savvy businessmen - the Real Estate Federation – were found scratching their heads in utter amazement.

"It's a conundrum," exclaimed Hero Sooo-Hell, a prominent entrepreneur known for his ingenious land-expansion incidents.

"No one says nothing when riverbeds reshape themselves, gulping land from us! But the moment we set our sights on some riverbed real estate, we're branded as land-grabbers. It's preposterous!"

In a country where rivers weave an intricate tapestry across the landscape, these businessmen have honed their craft to exploit, ahem, harness the potential of nature's bounty.

"Why should we limit ourselves to the lands above water only?" asked Munna-Rascala, a non-Tamil-born visionary in the field. "The riverbeds are like the secret vaults of untapped prosperity. We're just unlocking the potential; people should thank us for it."

Another real estate tycoon remarked, "Look at the Buriganga, it has been sunburned and has turned pure black, which is hazardous to our people. We must eliminate this river immediately to save humanity!"

The businessmen argue that their initiatives will contribute to economic growth, provide job opportunities, and stimulate local development.

"We're the unsung heroes of progress," boasted Time-Your Ally, a charismatic businessman leading the charge. "We've mastered the art of expanding territories. It's like playing a real-life game of Monopoly, and we happen to be winning."

While outsiders may call them land-grabbers, these entrepreneurs prefer to think of themselves as visionary land optimisers.

"We're just redistributing land to where it can be better used," said Some-Error Tanzin, a businesswoman with a penchant for repurposing riverbeds into exclusive waterfront properties. "The rivers were in the wrong places, and we're correcting that. It's a public service."

Despite their noble intentions, public perception of businesspeople remains grim. Critics argue that they are more interested in personal gain than greater good.

"Sure, they might be creating jobs, but at what cost?" questioned activists Anjum and Sanjum, who tirelessly advocate for environmental conservation. "We must preserve our natural resources, not turn them into real estate projects. It's a matter of sustainable development goal versus short-term profits. We must boycott these land dacoits."

The businesspeople have launched a public relations campaign to counter the negative image.

Giant billboards by the riverbeds adorned with smiling faces and catchy slogans proclaim the virtues of their riverbed ventures. "Rivers are for everyone, and so are the benefits," declares one ad.

The debate rages on, but the businesspeople remain undeterred.

"People are lazy and resistant to change," observed Share-If Minaz, a businessman with a flair for philosophical musings. "But history has shown that progress always comes with resistance. We're pioneers in a brave new world of aquatic urban development."

As businesspeople continue to reshape riverbeds, their efforts are met with great admiration and greater opposition. "In a land of 'no opposition', we wonder where these partisans come from," said Kay-Kay Abir, a legend in the real estate business.