Dealing with Freeloaders

Whenever you hear "group project" don't you remember the agonising experience of working in that one group project that you didn't like being a part of? Sometimes it was because we didn't get our friends on the same team, sometimes it was because we got someone we didn't like being on the same team with, or sometimes it was just because we purely hate the concept of working on a group project. But the worst in my (and I'm sure in everybody else's) opinion, is to get stuck on a team with a freeloader or slacker or whatever you'd like to call them because they wouldn't care enough to protest being called that anyway.

After years and years of various excruciatingly painful experiences, I'm here to teach you the basics of working with a slacker. 

Step 1: They don't show up

You call group meetings, expecting all the team members to show up. Everyone but that one person shows up. You wait for them to grace you with their royal presence but they never do. Not until you've already distributed all the duties anyway.  

Step 2: They don't do anything productive 

By now, they do show up. But when your teammates are brainstorming and you ask them for suggestions, they just shrug and come up with ideas that can never be used. Sometimes they get so hyped up about contributing that makes you get your hopes up only to find out they have "other obligations" like attending dance rehearsals of their dad's colleague's second cousin's best friend's wedding or going through a bad break-up, which happens just before the due date of submission.

Step 3: They don't feel guilty

Whoever said "peer pressure stops people from free-riding in an assignment" has surely never met people like your certain group mate. No amount of insults or threats or death glares seems to do any work. They mess up the only thing they've been allocated to do, just like Alan from the Hangover series. 

Step 4: You start doing their work

After getting all your hopes and dreams of getting an A crushed like a bug, you just accept your fate and start doing their work as well. They keep reassuring you that they'll contribute more to your next project and to let them off the hook just this once. You sign and write their part as well as your own and write their names on the cover, even though you don't want to. 

Step 5: You give up 

At this point, you don't even care what happens to your project. You just want to get it over with, so that you don't have to stay up all night worrying about your grade and crying yourself to sleep. When this happens, know that you have successfully mastered the art of dealing with a freeloader in a project.

So now you know how to deal with this kind of people without harming anyone in the process (occasionally banging your head against a table to relieve frustration doesn't count). And what is getting a B (when everybody else got an A) in a project when our existence is meaningless anyway?

Aateeya Saabeen, scarily resembles Koala Bear in looks and in sleeping patterns is a dedicated Beatlemaniac. She believes her Hogwarts letter got lost in the mail because they misspelled her name. Leave her a message at Saabeen226@yahoo.com