Realities

"You're not real" Rida whispered as a rivulet of sweat trickled down her forehead. She kept on repeating it like a mantra, "You're not real, I'm only imagining," as if convincing herself more than convincing the figure before her.

"Rida look at me, I'm your father, remember? Look at me," the man with slightly greying hair and a face drenched in fatigue and wrinkles persuaded. He extended a hand to caress her cheeks, only to be jerked away from. 

"No you're not!" The shriek of response was louder this time, harsher, far more painful for her to muster. 

"My father is dead, you're lying. I killed him, I killed my father," on she went breathing out more times that she could count. 

Suffocation draped her life a heavy blanket. Breathless, her head felt heavy and her thoughts jumbled up. Her forehead damp with the sweat that gathered, with moist tear stains cheeks she finally looked up to notice the figure was in front of her no more. The girl finally sit herself up from the very edge of the gloomy room and looked around cautiously, her fidgetiness still evident in every movement. Finally ensuring her solitariness, she smiled a solemn smile through her and wiped off the mixture of hot sweat and tears from her face. She finally told off the voices, she could now distinguish between reality and otherwise, she was proud of herself. 

Shakil nervously entered the living room to discover his wife unmindfully fiddling with the tasbih. He clears his voice for her to look up at him, her eyes mirroring the fatigue and worry in his.

"What happened?" she asks with a small voice.

"It's time we send Rida to a professional institute," Shakil softly suggests, "Her delusions are only worsening." 

Raya's head dropped, tiredness, helplessness and the burden of a mentally ill child; the burden of losing a child to mental illness, the guilt of giving up. 

"I'll talk to Dr. Alam again and make arrangements," Shakil says leaving the rest to silence.

Silence wasn't solace, but neither were words. In fact, there was no solace, there was just harsh realities and unfair consequences.

Samin Sabah Islam is on a quest to find the perfect diet while simultaneously swallowing the last slice of pizza. Throw her some tips at [email protected]