This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Some poets don't know how to write poetry. 



TAURUS

Please stop eating so much candy. 



GEMINI

Do you even play golf, bro? 



CANCER

Trees can grow all the fruits of your labour. 



LEO

Water is a good substitute for food. 



VIRGO

Pictures cannot speak.



LIBRA

You should stop sharing your vegetables. 



SCORPIO

Are you talking to a gnome?



SAGITTARIUS

Growing plants will help reduce anxiety.



CAPRICORN

Cacti are kind of pretty. 



AQUARIUS

Sharks make good travel biddies. 



PISCES

Tarts are not good for your health.