This week's horrorscope
ARIES
Some people think they know you but they don't know you are an orange, do they?
TAURUS
Escaping yourself is cute, but have you tried loving yourself?
GEMINI
Only the brightest flowers should adorn your bedside table.
CANCER
Most cars looks the same but some cars look like a boat.
LEO
Music is the treatment you need not the one you deserve.
VIRGO
Dragging your past into your present is only going to make you miss watermelons.
LIBRA
When will you learn that feathers don't suit you?
SCORPIO
Carnivores love humans.
SAGITTARIUS
Blue may be the warmest colour to some, but green is the truest neutral shade.
CAPRICORN
Life goes on. It doesn't matter if you couldn't melt your butter on time.
AQUARIUS
Rust can settle anywhere, even in your tear ducts.
PISCES
Scale up your progress and you'll scale down on life.
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