This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Hey prude, be a little rad. Take a bad song, and play it louder.



TAURUS

Octobers come along every year, but does October Revolution?



GEMINI

Wet roads and wet skies. Waiter, did you forget the sauce that comes with my fries?



CANCER

Yellow is a colour that we can never agree on.



LEO

Oil is found in the depths of the earth and disgusting conversations.



VIRGO

Unseen wonders await you friend, you just need to fall asleep.



LIBRA

Free the man from the nets of mosquitoes, for we shall not be bound.



SCORPIO

Ever wonder why?



SAGITTARIUS

Empires are built and broken over territory, economies, and love.



CAPRICORN

Lately I've been feeling this need, this need to take a chance, to dance.



AQUARIUS

Maybe, you're gonna be the one that shaves me.



PISCES

Elasticity can be gained with a lack of spine.