Have you ever gazed into your pet's eyes and asked, "Do you have what it takes to be an online sensation?" If no, disregard this article and move on. Otherwise, look no further. Following a few simple steps can ensure social media stardom for your beloved pet—cat, dog, and imaginary—setting them up for a life of mild celebrity status and free products.

Firstly, your top priority should be the account username, as it's the banner that will adorn your pet's online presence. It must ooze with quirkiness or possibly highlight your impeccable sense of humour with a pun. Most importantly, it should be catchy enough to imprint itself onto people's brains ensuring a lasting impression.

After taking care of the name, you need to focus on the posts themselves. The pictures are undoubtedly important but what will set your little companion apart are the captions. The captions reflect your pet's personality that you choose to assign to them. There's a wide variety of personalities to pick from: your pet can be a naughty flirt, or deep thinkers who always comment on how life is fleeting. They can even be like that one weird cousin you always avoid at social events. The possibilities are truly versatile and endless.

Once the account gains some stability and a growing fan base, it's natural that your pet will receive products or offers from interested companies. This can be for reviews or endorsements. Regardless, this is a clear indicator that your pet is definitely on the right path. However, if you truly want to achieve peak influencer status, a few questionable sponsorships here and there might be necessary. After all, the road to fame is paved with immoral "detox" tea.

When the sponsorships have been dealt with, it'd be wise to release some form of merchandise for other household pets. This can include small hoodies, collars, bath water, cute sunglasses etc. If you're lucky, your pet will be in the middle of an online argument prior to the release of the merchandise. This will boost visibility and promote your products, all the while your pet's PR team tries to cover a scandal with one of the sponsorships. Regardless, your pet will emerge victorious with an arsenal of screenshots and high sales.

Finally, your pet will ascend from being influenced to influencing others and they wouldn't even have to lift a paw.

Fatima Jahan Ena likes complaining about capitalism and her forehead. Find her at mail2ena@gmail.com