How Parents React to Your Success

We all dream of winning the world some day and make everyone around us super proud. However, life is not a movie and most Asian parents just seem to suppress their reactions. While they are super ecstatic about our glory, they will bask in it, but in your absence.

As a child who lives away from her parents for higher studies, I rely on phone calls to convey my messages. Usually I am torn apart between which parent to call first in case the other feels less important. But this is how it goes:

"Hello Baba"

"Yes, ma. Where are you?"

"I am at the university. My team just made it to the final round of the competition I told you about few days back."

"Yeah. (Pause) Your mom was telling me something like that."

"Umm okay."

"Okay. Drink plenty of water because it's summer."

You just can't get a "congratulations" out of them.

For those of us who have both parents working, to break the news, we usually have to wait for them. I was excited the entire day when my SSC result came out and I imagined how I would be wearing a cape for the rest of the year. 

At around 8 p.m., my mom rings the bell and I hastily come out of my room. When she sees me, the first thing she says is "All the sweet shops ran out of sweets." She seemed guilt-ridden, a clear reflection of how things didn't go according to her plan.

Even though sometimes you don't get to celebrate your success the way you expected, your parents go to bed with a content heart, and that's what matters.

However, many of us have parents who are just unreadable. You might be beaming with pride after topping your class in a semester. You will break the news over dinner and some parents will say, "Good. I will be happier if you top your bachelor's and get into an Ivy League school for MBA."

This may make you wonder how your hard work was left unappreciated, but stand silently next to your parents' room. You will hear them tell your relatives over the phone about how proud they are of you.

I dreaded chemistry in college and before my exam day, my mom reminded me of all the obstacles I had overcome earlier – the first time I sang solo on stage at the age of 6, swam across a 25 meter swimming pool, adapted to a different curriculum. No matter how tiny our achievements are, our parents keep track of our ups and downs even though they don't react to them every time.

There are parents who are expressive of their affections. There are also families where the son/daughter gets to hug his/her father for the first time in years on the occasion of becoming a doctor. These occasions bring out the best expressions in us.

Myat Moe is an occasional philosopher whose favorite pastime is confusing people with her nationality. Reach her @145michelle@gmail.com