There are many bad sides to doing terribly in an exam. One of the worst sides, if not the worst, is letting your parents know about your result. Some people only delay the imminent danger by lying or hiding the truth. This article provides some foolproof methods to those seeking a more permanent solution. 

MENTION IT IN PASSING
This one keeps your conscience clear, to some extent. You wait for the perfect moment before saying anything, and just when one of your parents is busy to the extreme, go up to them and tell them how the only way your marks in Maths would look good was if it were an Olympic gymnast's score. They'll either hear you, or they won't, but either way, they'll be too busy to care. You have saved yourself. 

DO SOMETHING NICE FIRST
This method works particularly well with mothers, or whoever plays the good cop in the house. Get them a present, wash their car and/or cook for them. Save your pocket money for a couple of weeks and get them a present before sharing the bad news. By giving them an item bought with an accumulation of their own money, you will soften your parents enough to get a less hostile reaction to your failure in education, something they also pay for. 

BRING A FRIEND
We'll assume you're not the stupidest person you know and there is a friend who's done worse. Bring that friend over and make him mention his results to your parents. Most friends won't want to do this, so you'll either have to bribe them, give them food, or do their homework, give them what they want. Standing beside him, you will look less stupid. Being less stupid among two people is almost as good as being the smartest. Actually, no, but that's the best you can do.

FAKE ILLNESS
We start with the petty ideas here but they work. It's inhuman to scream at sick people, and your parents know that. Fake illness, and when your mother takes care of you, croak out in a shaky voice that you have a confession to make. Make it sound like you're afraid you're going to die and you want to come clean. If your mother isn't an evil queen from Disney (and she's not), she will forgive you. The catch here is faking the illness perfectly, and we've all heard how putting garlic under your armpits can cook up a fever. Try that! Run into a wall on purpose, and if you're overweight, play some football. These could all work (we hope).

PLAY THE BLAME GAME
Another one for the ones with a weak conscience, blame everyone and everything. Try blaming your teachers, that they didn't teach you the way you need to be taught. If you think your parents are going to call you on that, blame your friends. Tell them that your friends distract you during and before exams and that hinders your preparation. This might bring on restrictions in your social life so think twice before going down that path. What you're left with is blaming the system, and doing that is easy. Declare your superiority over other human beings. Challenge norms, some people say that may be the way to greatness.

There is a way easier solution to all that. Study. Work hard. I am just kidding, you could always go down the wrong path and lie, do away with your soul. But yeah, studying might be easier.

When he's not obsessing over football, Azmin spends his time devising ways of not getting mugged, only to fail miserably. Give him advice at fb.com/azminazran