Confessions of a Procrastinator

Make way, people. Your local procrastinator is here. Or don't, maybe I'll do this later.

At first, I would like to subtly point out the physical and mental pain I had to go through to address you all. In my head, I sighed, grumbled. My brain cells felt ambushed, my nerves were twitching anxiously. Also my fingers are going to punish me later as they now work diligently on the keyboard. But I dragged myself up to do this because the nation wants to know. The nation wants to know why we procrastinate and what it's like and what the consequences are. And so, circumstance has actually led me for once to do something productive out of the blue.

Phew, did I just say all that? Anyway, let's begin.

THE WHY

Why? Primarily, because it's fun. I mean, who wouldn't love just doing nothing all day long and relaxing? Plus, we are very humane, you know. Our brain cells deserve to live their old age after years of working, right? And mind you, we are conserving energy and doing the world some good by not lending our sloth-like hands to your aid. Would you honestly want help from someone who is not habituated to working? You know what, don't answer that.

Secondly, once you start delaying things, you can't but delay again. It is the natural flow of not doing anything. We can almost feel the pressure of the imposition of doing our work, but due to delaying everything that crosses our path, it just doesn't feel right when we actually work. Next, it becomes a stress on the mind. Yes, many think that procrastination is a super famous act of clandestine romanticising. But the truth is, we don't have to romanticise it. At one point of our lives, we just become bundles of flesh, who desperately want to do something, yet just can't bring ourselves to. At first, we temporise doing comparatively insignificant things, then day by day we start delaying all the important stuff, not to mention, even forgetting the exact meaning of a deadline. Once when I wasn't so immersed in stalling my daily workload, I learnt that procrastinating can sometimes also be referred to as a psychological problem that is when you go overboard with it. Moreover, depression and anxieties then become your uninvited guests.

WHAT IT'S LIKE

It's fabulous, frankly. I love the idea of the idea of me doing something, but in truth, I am not doing anything at all. Being a simpleton, I would say, it is just not the idea I like, it's also the act. Personally, it entertains me when the people around me also get used to my laziness and so take the liberty of doing things for me. Yet, to tell you the truth, I don't always feel good about that. I am aware that I am a mess, that nothing I do compensates for the fact that I don't do anything. That I am useless in some ways and don't get to feel like I am contributing. It is not a happy feeling. It is a feeling of being stuck at a swamp, with the worst sense of enjoyment that you are immobile that too because of yourself.

THE CONSEQUENCES

I won't lie, the consequences are dire. You become a liability to people around you, you become someone whom you eventually detest, and you become a broken, trampled slob of self-pity. On the other hand, there are some people who think that you are really cool. They seem to view you as carefree. They have these fancy filters in their eyes that let them see you as someone who generates a feeling of serenity whenever you put off your essential chores. And that just eats you up as you know in your heart, that there is nothing cool about it; and even if there actually is, it's not intentional. And so you feel like nobody gets you other than the fellow procrastinators. As a result, you perpetually feel low.

So, that's all for now. Though procrastinating is undeniably fun and simultaneously dreadful, there is hope, you know. Take my word for it, there actually is hope if you try to fix it gradually. First, try doing things that need minimum effort. Make your own mind map then prioritise your errands and work. And most importantly, give yourself a chance to start anew. On that note, I will now order myself a large beef pepperoni pizza, since hey, wasn't writing this piece of honest confession a commendable (applause, I need some applause) step for me?

Maisha Nazifa Kamal is on a highly confidential mission to defeat all Muggles in procrastination. Join forces with her at 01shreshtha7@gmail.com