Phases of a Skype call

Welcome to Bangladesh, a land where the internet connection is as fragile as our CGPAs. If you talk about the duration of the call connection, it is as infrequent as my concentration during Chemistry class. Don't believe me? Wait till you Skype with someone and come across these phases.

Connecting with a friend living abroad over Skype involves hassles because the time zones don't match. The planning commences weeks ahead until both parties realise they cannot do much about being stuck at two opposite ends of the world. Even if you are Skyping with someone living in your city for let's say, a group project, let's face it: it ain't happening that easy. 

Finally the day arrives and we sit in front of our computers to make the Skype call. Out of nowhere a big face from either the angle of the chin or forehead appears on the screen as you receive the call. Followed by an awkward silence we realise we aren't having eye contact and are mostly talking to each others' foreheads. 

Sometimes there are connection issues and your voice messages get delayed in being sent to the other end of the screen. This can lead to some hilarious results. 

Person 1: Can you hear me?
Person 2: Hello?
Person1: How are you?
Person 2: Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?"
Person 1: Did you have your dinner?
Person 2: Yes, I am doing good.

The next phase involves discussing the place and surroundings people are Skyping in. If you're at your university dorm in call with your mom, she will definitely ask you for a virtual tour so that she can confirm you're up to no good in living alone. However, before you Skype, you can choose a location decent enough to set an impression your room isn't a mess.

If you're unfortunate, the other person you are Skyping with has his fan close to his mic. If you mention it, he will tell you about how pandas are becoming extinct due to global warming.

The following phase is the time your friend argues with his mom halfway through the conversation "Mom, I'll go to bed when I want to."

You can hear someone shouting from the next room to which your friend replies, "No, it's not midnight!" 

While Skyping with a family member, at one point, other family members start joining in the conversation leaving you wondering if you would have ever have the privacy to ask your dad for next semester's tuition fees. 

Auntie 1: Arre, Adity ma, you grew so thin!
Auntie 2: I have a marriage proposal for you. Son of that doctor uncle who presented you a doll on your fifth birthday has become a doctor too.

Cousin 1: Please send me an original financial calculator for my CFA exam.

Mom: What's the result of your last semester?

At this point, you squint at the screen blankly and go, "What are you saying? I can't hear you. My doll's financial calculator grew thin? What?" 

There goes the connection.

Myat Moe is an occasional philosopher whose favourite pastime is confusing people with her nationality. Reach her @145michelle@gmail.com