Struggles of having a unisex name

The day people stop making gender assumptions based on my name, the colours pink and blue will finally be free from the shackles of gender roles related stigma.

Here are the struggles of having a unisex name you can hopefully relate to if you have one:

THE REVELATION

'Tis a sunlit day. You are proudly wearing your name, oblivious of how your name is host to so many assumptions.  After a few hours, you stumble across a revelation that ruins the vibe. As for me, my day was going pretty great until my friends bombarded me with their careful observations as to how my name didn't fit me. Later on, the newly acquainted people and my distant relatives' unwanted opinions opened my eyes to the fact that my friends' assertions were right. While the scenario might vary, it is after the revelation you start asking questions like "How did my parents name me?" and realise that identity crisis is real.

FEELING LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER

Imagine you are outside a doctor's room, waiting with tons of other people with exactly the same name as yours. The assistant calls out your name, and everyone sharing your name stands up with you. You, particularly, stand up to witness the moment of truth i.e. the other people being of the opposite gender. Also, you are met with shocking stares as if your name isn't suitable for you according to the "conventional" naming system.  When you have a unisex name, such circumstances are like that one annoying class you can't bunk. Hence, to those around, you have to become the living proof whose name isn't a proper fit.

GETTING ADJUSTMENT PROPOSALS FOR YOUR NAME

I have often encountered people with hammers ready to adjust my name for me. They had suggested identifying me as "Tarzan" so that my name could sound "masculine" and be free of assumptions, of course. While one's name might not have received THIS bad of an adjustment proposal yet, you definitely have to deal with listening to how Anik from Anika, or vice versa sounds just appropriate for you.

ENCOUNTERING THE BEHAVIOUR POLICE

If you were thinking people just forget how your name and gender are two different poles once they meet you, then you are completely wrong. In an attempt to dig deep into the history of your name, they rather stray from their focus and start assessing your "manliness" or "girliness" based on your name. Good luck putting up with a "girly girl" or "manly man" attitude if your name is anything but.

THE OBLIVIOUS ONES ARE OBVIOUSLY INNOCENT

Have you ever received calls, emails, and messages by restaurants, shops, etc addressing you as "Sir" instead of "Ma'am" or the other way around? No? Okay. That's probably because

1) You don't have a unisex name.

2) The sender was kind enough to understand that unisex names exist and sometimes not jumping to conclusions is okay.

Having a unisex name is tough. It's an invitation to many people who want to let you know that their friends of the opposite gender share the same name as yours. Nonetheless, having such a name is special in its own ways -- one being the fact that you can draw some attention to yourself.

Is Shah Tarzan Ashrafi a better alternative to his current name? Let him know at fb.com/shahtazrianashrafi