It all started with a toothache that sent me to the dentist's office, after a simple check-up the friendly man explained I needed braces. "Two years isn't a long time, and they're just braces," I reasoned with myself, and that's how the torture began.

The Preparations – After you've accepted the inevitable, the dentist's first step is to prepare braces that will fit you. To create a mould for it, they put this weird gooey substance over your teeth and wait for it to solidify. Worst 20 seconds of my life. Luckily I didn't need to have teeth extracted, but most people do, and it sucks to be them.

Your Dentist is Your Best Friend – If you're going to get braces, here's my first piece of advice: make sure you can tolerate your dentist. Even better if you can sense a blooming friendship because you will see him/her every month for a few, long, painful hours. I'm talking monthly visits consisting mainly of waiting in the lobby where a bunch of other patients are intent on watching Star Jalsha, at full volume, as though they can feel Potol Kumar's singing miraculously healing whatever dental problem they're plagued with. 

"No Pain, No Gain" – Did you know this famous phrase was first uttered by someone who wanted healthy gums and prefect teeth? Yes, I'm talking about the first person to ever wear braces. Because after you've endured pain during monthly check-ups, where the dentist uses a dozen sharp and blunt assorted objects to "adjust the braces," there's still more to come. The dull ache persists, throughout the first few months, and then reduces, to last only the first few days after each check-up. The wire of the braces often sticks into the inside of your mouth, and you're supposed to deal with this near lethal offence by using wax. Yes, plaster little bits of wax over the sharp wire so it doesn't poke your inner cheek. 

Goodbye Food – There's a lot of adaptation required. Bid farewell to sticky food, chewing on bones, and tearing meat using your teeth. I had to avoid chewing gum for two entire years. Perk: your family does feel sorry for you and take you out for ice cream more often. To clean this metallic thing in your mouth, in addition to the usual brushing, you have to use tiny little brushes that can fit between your teeth and the braces, and lots of mouthwash.

It gets a little overwhelming but you have a good laugh when kids point at you and cry, "Daat e poka hoise!" As for me, after two years of enduring taunts such as brace-face and Ugly Betty, when I finally took the braces off and flashed a smile, it was all worth it. Now I only have to wear retainers - for the next eight years of my life. 

Salma Mohammad Ali fears she is becoming a crazy cat lady and uses writing as a means to grasp on to sanity. Send her your views/hate/love at fb.com/salma.ali209