Published on 12:00 AM, June 22, 2017

Top tips to survive the load-shedding season

Ah, load shedding season. Either electricity is having an existential crisis or has fallen victim to bipolar disorder. Either way, we are the victims and must thrive to survive.  

SHAVE 
Basic biology must have taught you that mammals have hair on their bodies to trap a layer of air for insulation. Evidently, load shedding season isn't the best time to be a mammal, because it's already 34 degrees outside and then your generator betrays. Since it's far too late to change your place in the animal kingdom, a useful solution is to shave off that additional layer of lagging.

And if you're a "man" and too afraid of losing your man card along with that body hair ask yourself which is worse, chhila murgi or sweaty stinky skunk? 

MAKE SMART FRIENDSHIP CHOICES 
If you're an unsocial person, the time when July rolls in is a good one to really widen out your friend circle - geographically speaking. So when the electricity is shut off for your home in one region you can go chill at your buddy's on the other region.

There's no point in having all your friends live in Uttara. Cut off some of those redundant friendships and reach out to the fellow Dhanmondi dwellers. Be open to your friend knocking at your door at 2 PM asking for directions to the air conditioner. Humanity is a two-way street. 

BE SNEAKY WITH COMPASSION
While you're sitting in front of the dying out candle trying to figure out the mechanism of the very perplexing haat pakha, keep an ear open for errands needed to be run. Your mother needs Greek yoghurt from the grocery store? Be the adorsho shontaan and volunteer. Don't hesitate to make a couple detours to spend more time where there are lights and cool air and a phone charger.

Make sure to thank the Almighty and all the ignorant drivers for the wonderfully packed traffic. While you're in the store, casually chill by the capsicums. 

SURVIVAL KIT

  1. Patience 
  2. Potatoes and apples (apparently vegetables can charge your phone - good time checking out this theory) 
  3. An appetite for cold food (the microwave won't function and your mother ain't going near the stove in this state so either this or learn to fast)
  4. Light, white, baggy, cotton clothes, preferably old ones with holes in it for added ventilation (load shedding season is a particularly bad time to go Goth, delay that thought for a couple more months) 
  5. Patience 
  6. Gas filled in your car (you may need a place to crash at night when the air conditioner won't work)
  7. Your Nanu's ancient hand fan 
  8. Patience

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE (EVEN THOUGH THE ELECTRICITY IS OUT AND IT'S PRETTY DARK) 
If you look at it from the right angle, load shedding season ain't that bad. Electricity fails allow you to get in touch with your romantic side and embrace the mushy ambience of candle lit dinners. It's rather celebratory for students, calling to cancel on their home tutors because the electricity hasn't made an appearance yet, and furthermore the perfect excuse to avoid homework. When the lights, ACs, Wi-Fi, phones and all other distractions die out, face-to-face traditional bonds strengthen. 

Unless you're home all alone, then it's just bad. 

Samin Sabah Islam believes there are very few problems in life, if any, that a good nap can't fix. If she isn't asleep, your queries may be answered at sabahsamin11@gmail.com