UNIVERSITY FRIENDSHIPS

In school, we spend 5-6 days a week with the same people, sometimes over a major span of time. We all know each other, even if it is vaguely, because the rumour mill keeps spinning and partial truths float around. In university, it's a melting pot of random people and finding BFFs can be both easy and difficult.

Consider this. Who you meet depends on which subject you're studying and which courses you take. There are a myriad of individuals in different classes. It's a random selection process and the reality is, you're seeing projections of different people. This means that you'll probably be networking a lot, but who will end up as your true friend? 

How it Works

Well, that's a trial-and-error process. Whether you're an extrovert or an introvert, there will be people who match your taste. Since everyone usually tries to be amicable, the first stage of attaining friends is easy enough. There are going to be people who throw you birthday surprises but you might not even be in talking terms a year later. No one is obliged to be around anyone so it's really a test of time. Who stays? Who goes? Who creates the drama? Who will have your back?

The Seasonal BFFs

You're bound to meet the seasonal BFFs. These are the ones who will suddenly be all over you in exam season or before a quiz/assignment/presentation. Give yourself a pat on the back for that because your CGPA game is probably strong. This really isn't all that bad. Some of these people will have your back and their blessings will remain with you. If you don't help them out and they turn their backs on you, they weren't actual friends to begin with. This might irk or upset you but it really shouldn't. In university, this is the category of people who you'll commonly meet because for many people, the end game is really about passing through courses. It's nothing personal. 

The Intellectuals

In my experience, university is a great place to get random advice and to debate over everything. The advantage of having so many people from various backgrounds is that they all have experiences very different from yours. This makes for a great place to throw around ideas and who knows, you might just score like-minded people. University provides a great platform to engage in just about any kind of activity and taking advantage of that is probably the wisest thing to do. However, you will meet a lot of people who'll throw nag on extremely personal things and sometimes they can be irritating or offensive. Take it with a pinch of salt. They might mean well or they might be trying to spite you- you'll probably never know. The best thing to do is to not get into a confrontation unless you really, really need to. 

The Drama Queens

High school never ends, at least for some people. Be it relationships/crushes or someone refusing to deal with their own problems, you know you've already faced it all. With so many types of people around, avoiding conflict is pretty much impossible. Best thing to do? Avoid toxic people. A little drama is inevitable but toxic people will drag you down. Messing up because of these people is never worth it. Let go, there are better people out there.

The Department Pals

They're basically family. You'll share the same joys and sorrows, and go through various challenges and opportunities together. You'll spend most of your time with these people because of shared courses and the pain that comes with them. They form the strongest bond in your network and in most cases, they stick around beyond university years. 

The Seniors

Some of the bhaiyas and apus will be kind enough to take you under their wings and they easily end up being the parents within school. Their wisdom will help make your overall experience better and their choices will help shape yours. Since they'll be doing most things ahead of you, consulting them for matters related to academics is a great move. Similarly, they can also help you break into the ups and downs of university life more easily. 

I know it all sounds negative but it isn't. In the process of going through all this, you'll meet some of the best people around. As cheesy as it sounds, you'll know when you've found the right crowd. They'll be your pals, your gayeholud dancers or maybe even your business partners. The rest is all just a part of the experience that shapes us as we grow. 

Nooha Sabanta Maula is an Anthropology major whose anthropologising has made her confused about life. Send her your thoughts to noohamaula@gmail.com