What is consent?

Webster's dictionary defines consent as "to give assent or approval". The meaning is easy enough to understand but still there are millions out there who are struggling to fully understand the concept of "consent". And for them, I present this easy beginner's guide.

Let's start simple with the meanings of the word "yes" and "no". Yes means yes and no means no. In no situation does the word "no" mean yes. Here's a secret that a lot of us don't know. There are no hidden meanings behind these two words. To make things clear, let's go over a few real life examples where these two words are used.

QUESTION: Rahim and Shamim are best friends. After class, both of them are walking home one night in a dark alley. Suddenly a 1000 Tk note slips from Rahim's pocket and Shamim immediately picks it up. But you see, Shamim felt a bit of greed holding the note in his hand and he wanted to keep the 1000 bucks for himself. So, he asks Rahim if he can have it. Rahim says "no". What does Shamim do?

ANSWER: He returns the note because Rahim does not want Shamim to have it.

Now, if your answer was something else please go back and reread the previous paragraph and a round of applause to Shamim for asking and respecting Rahim's wishes.

Let's go over a different situation.

QUESTION: You are babysitting two of your cousins. One of them has just received a new toy car and he is showing it to his brother because he wanted to try out the new car with him. But the brother gets a bit envious and wants to have the car all for himself. So, he steals it. When you later find out about this, do you get mad at the first cousin for trying to share a toy he just got and stop buying stuff for him in fear that they will get stolen again? Or, do you teach the other cousin that stealing is bad? 

ANSWER: I sincerely hope none of the answers encouraged criminal behaviour.

Our last situation is the most complex.

QUESTION: Shafik has been in love with Parul since the first time he saw her in his paasher bashar chaad. Even though Parul isn't aware of Shafik's existence, he is madly in love with her. After a few talks with his boys, Shafik finally gathers the courage to go up to Parul and confess his feelings. But since Parul has never even seen this guy before, she says no to him when he asks her out. Now, does this "no" hold any hidden meanings along the lines of "Please, follow me around everywhere"?

I would ask each of you to ponder over the answers to these questions at home, keeping in mind that yes means yes and no means no.

Tasnim Odrika is having an existential crisis at the moment and doesn't really know who she is anymore. Send her compliments at odrika_02@yahoo.com