Recently, I volunteered for an event despite having a lot on my plate. While I did have solid reasons for signing up for this, including it being a great learning opportunity and an overall fun experience, I realised my biggest motivation was something entirely different. I signed up for it so that I wouldn't miss out and regret forgoing the opportunity later on.

This phenomenon that I experienced is commonly known as FOMO (the fear of missing out) and it happens to dictate many people's lives. It forces us to base our decisions, priorities, and schedules around it. The problem of FOMO is that we contemplate the consequences of not doing something rather than thinking about how much we really want it. Sometimes, we let it get the best of us and convince ourselves into signing up for things we don't have the time or energy for. 

Suppose after a long hectic week, you agree to go out and watch a theatre show with your friends, mostly because of FOMO. If you don't have enough energy to socialise or concentrate on the show, no matter how entertaining and engaging it may be, it will feel like a chore. 

Life often feels like a rat race and we are under the impression that by taking time off, we are falling behind. We constantly worry about the opportunities that we might have forgone. For instance, you might guilt yourself into going to that office picnic just so your superior has a good impression of you, or so that you don't miss out on the chance to interact with people higher up in the company. But at the end of the day, you'll only come back home exhausted. There's no need to participate in every single activity just to earn brownie points. Ultimately, what this results in are half-baked experiences and burnouts. 

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It’s alright if you’re missing out

Social media further aggravates this problem. There's no way to avoid seeing what we might have missed out on because as soon as one enters the digital sphere, they are instantly bombarded with pictures, videos, stories, and statuses from the events one decided to skip out on. Even if that person didn't feel bad for not showing up, they are bound to feel differently now. 

Since social media only shows the highlights, we only get to see one side of the coin. The concert might have been crowded and suffocating, but the videos on Instagram will only showcase the blinding lights and the crowd singing along to familiar tunes. This clouds our judgement because an experience isn't just weighed on one aspect but many, including the negative parts as well. 

When deciding to commit to a plan, we should ask ourselves why we are really doing this and whether or not we even have the time for it. This will help distinguish between FOMO and what we actually want. Remember that just because one passes up on one opportunity doesn't mean they will never come across another. Taking days off to stay at home is also a priority. When we deprive ourselves of breaks, we take away the ability to actually enjoy what we're doing. We should try and break out of this cycle before it burns us out. 

Noyolee is either sleeping or procrastinating or both. Tell her to stop overthinking at munimns13@gmail.com